Arsenal fans’ nine most delusional referee conspiracy theories ...Middle East

Listening to people bellyache about refereeing decisions is a lot like hearing detailed recollections of their dreams.

You nod. You smile. That’s interesting. I switched off around when that porcupine the size of the Shard was chasing you.

And then there’s listening to Arsenal fans bellyache about refereeing decisions, which has become a kind of endurance sport.

The outrageous abuse of referee Michael Oliver has real-world consequences

Arsenal are not the only club contaminated by this brainrot – and it’s fair to say this is not all Gunners – but the cult is collecting new members remarkably quickly.

Myles Lewis-Skelly’s sending-off against Wolves by Michael Oliver was just contentious enough to breach containment, and subsequent stories around Oliver and David Coote have forced us all to talk about referees. Goodie.

So among stiff competition, here are nine of the most fabulously insane theories posited by Arsenal fans this season.

Let’s start at the beginning. In case you’ve missed it, in 2023 Oliver was paid to referee a game in the United Arab Emirates between Sharjah and Al-Ain. Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour is the vice-president and deputy prime minister of the UAE.

Across his career, Oliver has never shown a red card to a City player in 50 games officiating them, but has given Arsenal players eight reds in 55 games.

Ignoring the fact Oliver had shown five of those yellow cards before he went to the UAE, or officiated over 40 City matches by that point, this is probably the most joined-up theory of them all.

He has made a number of tight, if overwhelmingly correct, calls which have gone against Arsenal. Perhaps the only red card he could have given City came against Arsenal, for Mateo Kovacic. You can almost understand how two and two have made outrage.

Of course, that doesn’t mean suggesting Oliver sold the integrity he built his life and career upon to officiate one game in the Gulf and is on a backroom payroll is anything but defamatory and crazy.

David Coote came out as gay to protect the PGMOL

The latest addition to this canon is an absolute doozy.

If you don’t follow, the suggestion is that Coote came out as gay at the behest of Professional Game Match Officials Board (PGMOL), the body which sacked him in December, to distract from criticism of Oliver.

One tweet called the PGMOL “a crime syndicate”. Normal.

There are also suggestions Oliver sent off Lewis-Skelly because it will rule him out of Arsenal’s Carabao Cup semi-final second leg against Newcastle. Oliver is a Newcastle fan and has never refereed their or Sunderland’s matches. That is true.

But suggesting that showing a red card to perhaps the least important member of Arsenal’s first team, an 18-year-old who has been impressive if not spectacular, is his cunning plan to derail a match they’re already losing is quite something. Especially in the knowledge that decision could still be overturned, as it was.

Abuse investigation was only released to hide mistakes

The story broke on Monday morning that Oliver was under police protection after death threats against his wife and two-year-old daughter.

David Coote case shows what an intolerant, shameful world football has become

There was also a threat to blow up his family in their car after Manchester United’s 2-2 draw with Liverpool, which was also investigated by police.

Arsenal’s Twitterati have seemingly deduced this was released to avert criticism away from Oliver after Saturday, rather than just a newsworthy story released as it broke.

The car bomb threat had not been previously publicised because no-one had enquired to the police about it up to that point. It was not hidden by the PGMOL.

An interesting graphic is doing the rounds. It shows a map of England, with the disembodied heads of Select Group 1 referees overlaid onto their hometowns.

The majority are from the North-west, the nation’s footballing hotbed. Three are from Bristol, another three from the North-east. Australian Jarred Gillett was apparently born at sea. Zero floating heads are in London. The map is a few years out of date and the theory that not being from the capital makes you biased against Arsenal is quite something.

There are some genuinely interesting points to be made about the lack of elite London referees. None of them regard Arsenal in any way.

Referees hate Arsenal because they weren’t hugged as children

“Michael Oliver, it’s all about you”, Arsenal fans sung after Lewis-Skelly was sent off. This is an increasingly common complaint – referees are becoming celebrities and main characters.

A few theories posited for this include being bullied at school, not making it as professional footballers and not being hugged enough as kids.

In reality, VAR has largely triggered this. But here’s a suggestion – if you don’t want referees to act like celebrities, stop treating them like they are, constantly writing and talking about them. That might do it.

One Arsenal fan produced his own formal statement, speaking on behalf of the whole club.

“We are appalled by the years of biased refereeing and dishonesty directed at our club and other clubs affected…

“Sadly this is not the first our club has been forced to deal with a Manchester based organization [sic] acting as the judge, jury and executioner.

“We will continue to support the investigation into PGMOL.”

Great work, real commitment, just one thing. The PGMOL is headquartered in London. Wembley, north London, to be exact.

Pundits and media are also in on it

The Score: Our verdict on every Premier League team after Gameweek 23

There is an AI-generated picture of Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher doing the rounds, dressed in blue cheerleader uniforms with PGMOL across the front.

The suggestion is that Neville and Carragher are part of an industry-wide conspiracy of silence on behalf of the PGMOL, a not-for-profit company.

Despite Micah Richards and Alan Shearer, among others, calling the Lewis-Skelly red the worst refereeing decision they had ever seen – which just is not and cannot be true – apparently an entire industry is out to get the Gunners.

Lewis-Skelly has been selected for extra-harsh punishment

Let’s finish with my favourite. In one post with nearly 7,000 likes, a fan wrote: “Skelly has only played nine matches. He has a dodgy red card v Wolves.

“A dodgy yellow card when not even playing on the pitch v City and a dodgy yellow card when being substituted v Spurs. Have the PGMOL picked on him & if so why?”

Another went a step further, producing a new theory of their own: “Someone I spoke today thinks the Lewis-Skelly red was a direct response to this. Young 18 year-old getting too big for his boots, someone wanted to take him down. ‘Refs watch football, they have opinions’.”

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