Frumpy Mom: Are you brunching on Mother’s Day? ...Middle East

In case you’ve been on a trip to Mars, I’m letting you know that Sunday, May 11 is Mother’s Day —  at least in the United States. Or as it’s also known, National Pricey Brunch Day.

In case you didn’t know, other countries also have their own versions of this holiday, the international retail bonanza to sell greeting cards, flowers, stuffed animals and such to people in foreign countries. For example, the French celebrate on the last Sunday in May. Probably with wine.

I once went to a Mother’s Day mass at a big church in Mexico devoted to the Virgin Mary on the Mexican Mother’s Day — which is always on May 10 — and it was so crowded I accidentally got shoved into the old wooden confessional booth. It was nice and roomy in there, so I stayed put until after the mass was over. Luckily for me, there was no priest in there with me, so I didn’t have to confess anything.

I went into my local Stater Bros. market last night and it looked like the Carlsbad Flower Fields in there. About 30 acres of floral tributes they hope you’ll buy for Mom. I couldn’t help thinking that some of them will be wilted by Sunday.

My late mother was not only practical but extremely frugal, so the one time I persuaded my dad to make an unusual romantic gesture and buy her long-stemmed roses for the big day, she became enraged and chewed him out for “wasting all that money.” Ooops. Guess that didn’t go so well.

Since they were small, I taught my children that they must give me a gift on Mother’s Day, even if they made it themselves. I trained them in this regard because I had a couple of friends who bemoaned every year that their kids ignored them on the holiday. But, seriously, what did they expect if they didn’t use pedagogical guilt to train them properly?

I’m really lousy at using guilt to manipulate my kids, I’m sad to say. I don’t know why. I try to copy my friends who’ve mastered the art, but my kids just laugh at me and tell me to cut it out. For some reason, I’m just not convincing enough. If you have any tips for me, let me know.

But I was already an old mom when I adopted my kids at age 46, so I was fairly ferocious when it came to teaching them. Like, you are required to give your mother a gift and show appreciation on Mother’s Day, even when it means burnt toast crumbs in bed and a big mess in the kitchen.

I have pointed out to them that the only Mother’s Day gifts I’ve carefully put away in a drawer are the cards and letters they made themselves.

Things are a tad different around our house these days, because my beautiful daughter, Curly Girl, is now a mother herself. She has two babies in diapers and wonders why she’s tired all the time. It’s a mystery. So we celebrate not one but two Mother’s Days. I’m assigned to figure this out. Last year, we had brunch on my back deck, which was nice, and we didn’t have to pay $99 per person to eat at some fancy restaurant, or get into fistfights waiting in line somewhere else. When I have to wait at these types of places, I always wish I had a taser.

Seriously. $99 per person. Would you pay that? It just seems nuts to me, especially since my daughter eats like a sparrow and I’m always on a diet. But, then, I’m a cheapskate. What are they serving? Truffles and Russian caviar?

Actually the fancy Castaway restaurant in Burbank is $105 per person, and that doesn’t even include mimosas, tax or tip. But the Father’s Day brunch is only $98. (Explain that one to me.) Interestingly, the also-fancy Luminarias restaurant in Monterey Park, which is owned by the same company, seems to have a similar menu but is a mere $80 per person. Such a deal!

In Riverside, you can go to a “grand” Mother’s Day brunch at the swanky Mission Inn for $116.15 that seems to include live entertainment.  And you have to pay in advance. Well, actually, you could have gone but it seems to already be sold out. So sorry. I hear Denny’s is still available.

Whatever you do today, I hope it’s a good day for you. Come back next week for more yammering about nothing.

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