“I wish I had curly hair like you.” My sweet summer child, you have no idea what you are asking for. How could you? You sit there with your poker-straight hair that requires nothing more than a quick brush through each morning and imagine my Shirley Temple mop would behave in the same way, don’t you? You are picturing your life remaining exactly as it is right now but with a crown of princess ringlets falling down your back, aren’t you?
Well, that is not the deal. Not by a long shot. Allow me and every other coily, curly, and kinky-haired human to tell you exactly what it means.
Say the finger curls down on the monkey paw, and suddenly you too are at the mercy of a top thatch that will not behave the same way two days in row, costs a fortune to style, and can predict the weather by how terrible it decides to look that morning.
Does your straight hair require specialist bedding to stop it frizzing and breaking? No! I have to sleep in a silk bonnet, with silk pillows, and a silk duvet cover each night. It’s a miracle that I manage to stay in the bed at all, instead of shooting out of it like a wet piece of soap – and my hair still looks like a pack of dried ramen each morning.
Companies selling specialist curly hair products talk about curls needing “extra care” and being “high maintenance”. Are you kidding me? I’ve met toddlers who require less care than naturally curly hair. There are Broadway divas who are easier to maintain than curls in high humidity.
Let’s start with the time curly hair will suck away from your life. I imagine you straighties preparing to leave the house. You might have washed your barnet the night before, and it’s still looking the same after you’ve woken up. You might brush it through, or perhaps give it a quick straighten with the irons. Or you do nothing at all and skip out of the door, looking amazing, to enjoy all that free time of yours.
My curly siblings and I have already been up for an hour or two by the time you even start to stir. We have three choices: wash it, use 25 separate products on it, diffuse it, and hope that works; spray it down with water, style it, diffuse it, and pray the beast hasn’t noticed the difference; or walk out of the house looking like an alpaca. There are some of us so beaten down by this daily fight, all they can do is tie it back or cut it off.
I don’t know if you know this, but you can’t brush curly hair when it’s dry. If you do that then it puffs up in the style of Albert Einstein or Boris Johnson. You have to get it wet in order to style it. Then you have either leave it to air-dry, which will take about a calendar week, or you can diffuse it, which takes hours. For the uninitiated, a diffuser is an attachment for hair dryer that disperses the air over a larger area. Curly hair needs this because it is a whiney little bitch.
square KATE LISTER My fellow geriatric millennials, I have some painful news
Read More
Then there is the cost. Think of curly hair as the triffid in Little Shop of Horrors screaming “feed me! Feed me more!” Curly hair is naturally more porous, and it needs moisture in much the same way as someone dying of thirst in the Sahara Desert needs water. To give it the moisture it demands, you have to feed it with expensive, specialist products.
I use extra-moisturising shampoos and conditioners, a leave-in conditioner, curl cream, gel, and hair oil. And even then, the frizz can break through. All it takes is a spritz of rain or a hint of humidity and the monster emerges. Curly hair is like Gizmo in Gremlins – it’s super cute until you get it wet, and then God help you. This is why your curly friend doesn’t want to go swimming with you or sit in a sauna before going to dinner. We will never dance in the rain in carefree abandon. We are prisoners, goddamnit!
But I think what I am most envious of when it comes to “straight hair privilege” is that you can go to any hair salon in the world, and they know what to do with your hair. This is a luxury denied to the curly community. Oh, hairdressers can colour it and cut it, but when it comes to styling it, it’s like they have never seen curls before. Unless you go to a specialist curly hair salon (expensive), they will either blow dry it straight or have you wander off with soaking wet hair.
On the few occasions I have done telly work and there has been hair and make-up, they either try to straighten it, or leave me to style it myself. I have asked many hairdressers about this, and they all say that they weren’t ever trained to style curly hair. Why on earth not? An estimated 40 per cent of the world’s population have curly hair! We are hardly an oddity.
Almost every moptop I know carries some kind of childhood hair trauma from the hairdresser. I have vivid memories of being dragged kicking and screaming to the salon because I knew they were going to dunk my head in the sink, wet it all down, and then cut too much off. Then it would dry, curl up, and I was left looking like I had a helmet perm – a look beloved of older ladies everywhere, but less so by school children, who were merciless.
I get my curls from my dad, who dealt with his by cutting them all off. My poor mother has very straight hair and had no idea what to do with a curly-haired child. This was in the 80s, before the internet and TikTok showed up to save us all with curly hair routines. She tried to control the frizz by brushing it, which only made it frizzier, or by having it cut short, which I hated. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I finally learned what is required to tame the frizz and make it look as good as it can.
There is also a race element to this which I can’t really speak to. But if all of this sounds hard, you have to times it all by about a million when it comes to curly, afro hair. Specialist products, specialist salons, the extra cost, plus hair-based discrimination, where a lack of understanding about black curls have led to incidents like protective styles (braids, twists, etc) being banned in schools or in the workplace.
So, why don’t I straighten it? Because I love it. I don’t know if this is hair-based Stockholm syndrome, but on the rare occasions the stars align and my hair does as I want it to, I do love it. I know it looks good. Plus, I have had it straightened in the past and it never goes completely straight. It always looks a bit puffy, so I may as well embrace the curls.
My plea here is for hairdressers to learn about curly hair and how to style it. If you are a parent with a curly-haired child, stop brushing their hair! You too need to learn the gremlin routine, but it will be worth it. I know my curls (and all curls) look incredible, but the next time you see someone absolutely rocking their ringlets, just know the work that goes into it – and for God’s sake, keep them away from the water.
Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( My straight-haired friends, you have no idea what curly-haired people go through )
Also on site :
- Two Minors Admit to Felony Charges following Bomb and Shooting Threat at Ventura High School
- Micky Dolenz Making Rare Appearance With 'Legendary' Piece of Monkees Memorabilia
- Mark Wahlberg 'So Inspired' By Jaw-Dropping Brothers: 'This Could Be a Movie'