An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop Writing This One Thing in Emails ...Saudi Arabia

Do you need to hit refresh on your email etiquette? It's a good idea to reflect on and update the words and phrases you use in emails, just as staying on top of your resume is important."As with all communication, the selection, order and cadence of our words matter," shares Jenny Dreizen, a modern-day etiquette, boundaries and relationships expert and the COO/co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, a global divorce support network. "Emails—especially business ones—are there for a purpose, usually to try to accomplish some task in the best and most efficient way. Selecting your words carefully should be a path to maximum efficiency."However, one short phrase—while fast and easy to type—might have the opposite effect. Dreizen is begging people to delete this one common phrase from their emails to avoid wasting their time (and the recipients).Related: 11 Best Phrases To Close an Email, Plus the #1 Way You Don’t Want To End Your Message

Basically, Dreizen is begging people to stop firing off emails with a common and simple phrase: "Just checking in." "This is a vague non-statement that is basically the same as saying, 'Pushing this to the top of your inbox,'" Dreizen tells Parade.She says that it's important to note that "Just checking in" (and phrases like it) isn't outlandish. It's not as problematic as a pages-long rant about the need to respond promptly only 48 hours after the initial email. Many people who send emails with this phrase are well-meaning and good humans. However, the phrase doesn't resonate and may unintentionally turn the recipient off."'Just checking in' does not accomplish the task it seemingly needs to, which is to force the issue or expedite the to-do item," Dreizen points out. "When we're using email as communication, we want to be as straightforward and direct as possible. This phrase accomplishes nothing while also coming off vaguely passive-aggressive."Eeek. Is it ever OK to use the phrase "Just checking in" in an email? Dreizen says yes, it has its specific use."I do think this phrase has a time and place, but I think it should often be followed up with questions," she explains. "Just checking in' can be a great way to reconnect with a colleague, sales contact or collaborator where the lines of communication have quieted. However, follow it up with specific questions so it's not just a lone phrase waving in the wind."For instance, "Just checking in. Do you have any specific questions about my proposal?" Or, "Just checking because it's been a minute since we spoke. Do you want to get coffee sometime next week? I'd love to hear about the vacation you were excited about last time we chatted."Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This 'Rude' Habit During Phone Calls

What To Say Instead

Dreizen suggests taking a more direct route by saying, "Wanted to know how progress was going on [action item]." It has the same connotation as "Just checking in," but it's way more specific."Writing emails to ensure people respond to your questions and/or get things done is an art, we want people to open the email and know exactly what their action items are," she explains. "By switching this phrasing, they will be able to categorize this email immediately and not have to dig through email chains to know what you're talking about."Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This 'Rude' Habit in Public

In the spirit of directness: "I really do not like when people use emojis or emoticons in email," Dreizen says. "I believe if you need an emoji or emoticon to express yourself, you're not trying hard enough to use language to do the same."The winky face after a tough-to-swallow sentence?"[It] doesn't soften the blow for me," Dreizen reports. "It comes off as passive-aggressive. If you find yourself needing a smiley face at the end of a sentence, maybe go back and see if the sentence can be cleaned up in a way that makes it smile, so the emoji isn't needed."(We'll avoid using the "fire emoji" to describe this take.)Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This Surprisingly Common Habit in Social Settings

2. Use text styling

Go ahead and show some style."One thing I learned when working in wedding invitations was that in order to make sure your specific questions get answered, you simply cannot send a wall of text," Dreizen says. "Use bullet points, bold, highlight—whatever you need to highlight important information."

3. Look out for "weirdness"

Fonts, font sizes and spacing can look random and weird—it's jarring. "Have you ever gotten an email from someone that has wild margins, three different font sizes—in one word—and two different fonts? And it's not intentional or designed to be that way?" Dreizen asks.If you're nodding your head vigorously (and even if you're not), avoid this snafu."It doesn't make the sender look good," Dreizen advises. "So make sure to check your fonts and margins."Up Next:

Related: What To Say Instead of 'Nice to E-Meet You' in an Email, According to Etiquette Experts

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