Once again, the last column of December (or the first of the next year, depending on how the dates line up) is a final look backward at the past year’s legal tomfoolery, monkeyshines, hijinks, and shenanigans. (Okay, I’m out of synonyms for “mischief.”) And so, once again:
• Some years ago, the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia was confronted by a reporter as he left church one Sunday. Scalia responded to the reporter’s question by flicking the four fingers of his hand under his chin. The gesture was apparently Scalia’s “commentary” that someone — even a reporter – shouold not have had the temerity to approach him while he was, um, off-duty. Scalia later claimed that it was simply a gesture of dismissal because he didn’t like being “ambushed” that way.
On the other hand, the Boston Herald claimed that it was an “obscene gesture.” That’s the problem with gestures; they can all be interpreted so many different ways.
But the State of Hawaii decided to wade into the field of nonverbal communication this past June, when its governor signed legislation making the “shaka” Hawaii’s “Official State Gesture.” The gesture is defined in the legislation as “. . . extending the thumb and smallest finger while holding the three middle fingers curled, and gesturing in salutation while presenting the front or back of the hand; the wrist may be rotated back and forth for emphasis.”
This comes in the wake of New Mexico having made “the fragrance of roasting green chilies” its “official state aroma” in 2023, and California adopting the Dungeness crab as the “official state crustacean,” in 2024. But hearkening back to Justice Scalia, I don’t recommend making the “shaka” gesture while visiting Italy, where it has a . . . somewhat different meaning.
• A federal judge in Florida heard a motion for sanctions — that is, a fine against the attorneys and/or their client — for bringing a frivolous lawsuit against discount retailer Big Lots. A woman named Peggy Durant sued Big Lots under a Florida consumer protection law, claiming that she was unable to brew 210 cups of coffee from a given container of beans, despite what was claimed on its label. The judge first dismissed the case (in a ruling that should likely be its own column) because the facts of the case didn’t support the allegations of the lawsuit.
He later granted the motion for sanctions because, among other things, the attorneys had apparently filed more or less the same lawsuit in New York, where it had also been dismissed. Then they refiled essentially the lawsuit in Florida with a new client. But not only was this case dismissed, too, the trial judge added the sanctions because he found they had acted in bad faith.
Big Lots’ ringing victory was undermined somewhat, however, when it ended the year by filing Chapter 11 bankruptcy and closing most if not all of its stores. This apparently had nothing to do with being sued in frivolous lawsuits, however.
• Remember the doctor who “appeared” for his traffic ticket via Zoom while dressed in scrubs and standing in an active operating room? Or the attorney who appeared in court via Zoom but looked like a cat because he couldn’t figure out how to turn off the filter that made him appear that way?
Ain’t technology amazin’?
Well, 2024 added to that lore with the well-publicized case of Michigan resident Corey Allen, who appeared in court while driving his car. He was just pulling into a parking space when he activated his Zoom link. But the judge noted that the appearance was itself for a “driving on a suspended license” citation. And Mr. Allen was clearly driving when he signed on to the court Zoom.
Oops.
The case then took an odd turn, however, because in later proceedings, Allen at first claimed that his suspended license case had been resolved, and that the citation was issued in error because the court failed to reinstate his driving privilege by updating its records timely. But then, during a later appearance, the judge stated that Mr. Allen could not have been driving “on” a suspended license — because he had actually never had a driver’s license (at least in Michigan). Ever. (Even if someone has never had a license, the court’s records will simply note that the person’s “privilege to drive” has been suspended, whether they’ve ever had a license or not.)
Another “oops.”
Because Allen was in court the second time when the second startling revelation was made, however, that time the judge ordered him into custody.
Frank Zotter, Jr. is a Ukiah attorney.
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