Jodi R. R. Smith, etiquette expert at Mannersmith, says that historically, someone who was thought of as “classy” was someone from an upper (i.e. wealthy) class. “The wealthy would not refer to themselves this way—only those on the outside would use this term,” she says. “The upper class families had the money to educate their children, they often spoke multiple languages, ate well (both higher quality food and more often) and were able to travel. The wealthy had a standard of behaviors that were deemed appropriate in specific situations. These behaviors were taught, managed and maintained as a way of easily identifying each other along with those who were not.” Nowadays, the definition of “classy” has changed. In fact, according to Smith, it’s entirely possible to spot wealthy people being unclassy and behaving badly while those from humble means can radiate tons of class. Things like confidence, good manners, thoughtful communication and emotional intelligence are more so associated with class. Related: Please and Thank You! 50 Etiquette Rules to Live By—All Approved by Experts
Why It’s Not a Good Idea To Reveal Too Much About Yourself in Public
“Rich or poor, classy people do not discuss their financial status as a social conversation,” Smith says. “It is boorish for the wealthy to brag about their wealth and it is rarely an interesting conversation for those with lesser means.”
2. Personal Grudges
With your trusted friends and family, it makes perfect sense to share your health struggles and lean on them for support. But when you’re in public and not around those confidantes? You may want to keep those health-related details to yourself. For instance, if you have a terrible cold, stay home instead of going out and telling everyone you have a terrible cold. Also, as Smith adds, “No stranger should have to endure the details of your bunion surgery in a casual conversation.”
4. "Braggy" Facts
5. Over-the-Top Feelings
It is perfectly understandable to share your truest of true feelings and emotions at home or with those you really care about. But you might want to avoid the “big emotional displays,” as Smith calls them, in public. She adds that while classy people of course experience emotions, they tend to moderate their public reactions, which can include yelling, screaming and crying.Related: 'I've Been an Etiquette Expert for 13 Years—Here's the #1 Phrase to End Small Talk Without Making It Awkward’
How To Be Open and Honest While Keeping It Classy
As you determine the level of details you want to share, think about the people you spend time with.
As Smith says, not everyone you speak to has your best interest at heart. “Consider what you want to tell others, and when,” she continues. “And when in doubt, allow the relationship to build before revealing more.”
Related: 7 Phrases That Instantly Make You Sound Classy, According to Etiquette Experts
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