As I sit and write I can hardly see. The pollen is taking a ridiculous toll on my nose.
I’ve been at my sister-in-law’s baby shower all day. I say, “in-law”, but her brother Marc and I aren’t married. We should be, or might as well be. We have no desire to lay eyes on anyone else and are content and happy together.
Anyway: back to the shower. We ate rectangular sandwiches filled with ham, egg, salmon and cheese (not together, don’t be silly), tartlets, scones and copious amounts of English breakfast tea. After all that, I looked at the unusual shaped platter and thought to myself – I don’t really fancy the chocolate pastry or the miniature tiramisu.
It was a lovely day spent with lovely people and with full bellies we headed for home. Then, we ate chilli chicken kebabs on the BBQ with greens, rice and chips.
Why is she telling us about her day’s consumption, you may well scoff. Because I love food, company and the garden. And especially Sundays with a glass of something cold and alcoholic. But it took me a while to get to get to this point – to give myself a break and live happily in moderation.
I used to worry about my scone intake or my hay fever-y swollen eyes. I would have thought about what to wear for the baby shower a few days before, trying on numerous outfits. I would have been stressed about the traffic and how long it would take me to get to Kent.
Since the age of 10 I’ve been in the public eye; by 14 I was having pink-top mags crossing or ticking my outfits. I tried every fad diet out there and yo-yo dieted up until my mid-thirties. Then I found what really made me happy: everything in moderation and not sweating the small stuff.
We are continuously bombarded with messages on social media, TV and in general society about what to eat and drink, how to act and how you should feel.
“Spend more time with your family!”, “Have YOU time!”, “Eat less sugar!”, “Get on with your teenage kids!”, “Love yourself!”, “Love everyone you know and strangers too!”, “Make sure your kids know who’s boss!”
“Don’t feel guilty at work!”, “Do meditation three times a day, but only for five minutes”, “Go out as a couple once as week.”, “Be an amazing friend and strong woman but also scream and shout if you want to!”
It’s a lot isn’t it? I’ve learnt to just block it out.
I think age has a lot to do with finding out what you should be spending your time on. And finding Marc was a huge turning point for me. Being content is an amazing thing. Suddenly you aren’t chasing anything. You aren’t experiencing FOMO. I found myself in a place with someone who made me feel safe and happy and nothing else mattered. I grew in confidence feeling that I’d found the right person for me. And everything else fell into place.
square JENNY ECLAIR I miss being able to run back to my parents' home when life goes tits-up
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Why don’t we just be? Enjoy being on earth and think about how lucky we are to be here. It’s something I am trying to instil in my daughter’s too.
Eliza, my teen, has exams. A year ago, I wouldn’t have allowed her to have a day out for her auntie’s baby celebration. She has revised a lot and she is doing her best. Could she have spent more time revising? Yes, she absolutely could have. Would it have been good for her happiness? No.
It takes a lot to write that as I am a firm believer in hard work. In all ways really. I started work at 10 in EastEnders. I loved it and I haven’t stopped working since. But I don’t want my children to be stressed. You must pick your battles. Teens have so much to deal with in 2025 that I would really prefer not to add to it, if she isn’t being a plonker (or words to that effect).
I just sat back one day and thought about Eliza’s youth. It doesn’t last long. It really won’t be long before she has the responsibilities of adult life every single day. Financial, personal… it’ll happen one day and that’s it. It never stops. So I just wanted her to have a break from the constant nagging. Don’t get me wrong, I still nag. Mostly about make-up ruining skin and screen time – but I think that’s important as I care.
I suppose what I am trying to convey with all of this is that it’s OK to eat a bloody scone. It’s OK if your teen has revised for two hours and not eight. It’s OK if you must work three jobs to look after your kids and not be with them all the time. It’s OK to not want kids. It’s OK if you don’t want to go for a run or get eight hours of undisrupted sleep. It’s OK to wear things you’re comfortable in. All of it is more than OK; it’s perfect, because we are lucky enough to be here.
I’m off to pour another rosé and blow my nose. Yes, I know alcohol isn’t good for allergies. I don’t care!
This week I have been
Reading… Monty Don’s books. I’m into my gardening in a big way right now. I have created some sow-along episodes of my podcast Life with Nat with my friend Cara @makeitflourish. I have grown Cosmos and Zinnias from seed and some courgettes and cucumbers. I am extremely proud of them all, apart from the silver leaf on my cucumbers, which is why I am trouble shooting with trusty Monty.
Scrolling… Kirsty Gallagher on social media. Not the sports lady but the amazing moon lady. I am amazed by her posts and weekly moon forecasts each week. I truly believe in the powers of the moon after the intentions and decisions I have made of late.
Studying… in a new BBC documentary that I am making I am heading to college to study health and social care. I am loving every minute, and I cannot wait for you all to watch next year.
Seeing… my family. I have had an extremely busy work life of late, and I am very grateful to be at home a bit more in the coming weeks. I hate being away from home and detest not seeing my Marc, daughters and extended family outside of my home.
Listen to Natalie Cassidy’s Life with Nat podcast and pre-order her book Happy Days. You can find Natalie @natcass1 on Instagram.
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