Andorra 0-1England (Kane 50′)
RCDE STADIUM — It’s international football’s greatest riddle – when is a win not a win?
The answer is when you’re playing Andorra, who are both Europe’s easiest game and, in a perverse way, the most difficult.
Thomas Tuchel discovered that strange truth here in sweltering Barcelona as his England side earned the most pyrrhic win imaginable in the half-empty home of Espanyol.
It was bad. Really bad. So tragic that the 7,000 or so England fans who had been sipping beer in the sun all afternoon amused themselves by singing songs about how much they hate Keir Starmer and adopting Andorra centre-half Ian Olivera as an unlikely hero.
"Some of the players looked bored"
Roy Keane and Karen Carney reflect on an underwhelming England victory against Andorra #ITVFootball | #ThreeLions pic.twitter.com/BN6GtiZ3J3
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) June 7, 2025
The boos at the end were half-hearted – this is the proper England hardcore support, after all – but they were absolutely fair enough.
All week the talk had been about swallowing digital pills but in the end it was the England performance that was difficult to digest.
Harry Kane won it with a typical striker’s finish just after half-time but the three points didn’t obscure the fact that this was up there with England’s worst performances in living memory. 1-0 against Andorra? They matched Latvia’s result in the same fixture, at least.
Tuchel had promised England would suffocate Andorra but those words rang especially hollow as his players witlessly passed the ball side to side in a way that would have got Gareth Southgate crucified.
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Look, in the grand scheme of things it won’t matter a jot when England pitch up for the World Cup in a year’s time. Andorra’s doughty defending will live as long in the memory as England’s attempts to stretch this turgid game.
But if we’re looking for signs of progress – or some grand plan unfolding under Tuchel – it certainly wasn’t here as England’s all-star cast looked as if they’d rather be anywhere else.
Tuchel picked Jordan Henderson in a surprise selection in midfield, presumably to free the rest of his attacking players to turn the screw on Group K’s minnows.
It was a head scratcher given Henderson surely isn’t going to be a central part of Tuchel’s plans for the World Cup. Or is he? Anyone who can fathom a plan for how England are going to move through the five or so gears they need to find to win a World Cup, please speak up.
Henderson actually did okay. Along with Curtis Jones – inverted right full-back slash winger here – he was one of the better performers. Noni Madueke showed intent too, running with pace at Andorra when he managed to cast off the shackles of the yellow shirts who tracked his every movement.
Harry Kane opens the scoring!
He becomes the first player to score in each of a mangers 1st three matches in charge of @England since Peter Crouch#ITVFootball | #ThreeLions pic.twitter.com/ouDYfXPKNH
— ITV Football (@itvfootball) June 7, 2025
But the less said about the rest the better. We’ve all been begging for Cole Palmer to get a chance but he did absolutely nothing here. Jude Bellingham carried himself like a man who wished he was anywhere else.
Kane at least appreciated that application would be needed to win the fixture. But there were worrying signs that in a team that should be all pace and front foot, he lacks the necessary gas to get beyond defenders. Twice he tried to accelerate past Andorra’s back five in the first half, twice he came up short.
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Barring Kane’s close-range finish just after half-time the second period was much of the same. Roy Keane questioned England’s attitude on ITV afterwards, saying they looked bored. It was an eye-catching but fair critique.
So Tuchel’s England haven’t exactly set the world alight in their three qualifying wins so far. If anything performances have regressed considerably since the mild-mannered Lee Carsley handed over the reins after guiding England to Nations League promotion in a fun, slightly chaotic manner.
You wonder how he’s feeling about his introduction to international football. He’s had eight training sessions and three matches in six months. How can anyone expect to change things with so little time?
He must be yearning for games that actually mean something. The rest of the year isn’t much different for England – Tuesday’s opponents Senegal the highest ranked opponents they will face until qualification is sewn up in November and we can start to get into the logistics of navigating the most complicated World Cup itinerary of all-time.
By then this game will have been consigned to the dustbin of history, which is where it belongs.
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