Long before he became the "Piano Man," a young Billy Joel navigated a period of intense personal turmoil that nearly silenced his voice forever. The new documentary, Billy Joel: And So It Goes, which debuted at the Tribeca Festival, unveils the shocking and formative events of his early 20s, where an affair with his best friend's wife led to a spiral of depression and self-destruction.
The story centers on Joel's close relationship with his bandmate in the duo Attila, Jon Small, and Small's then-wife, Elizabeth Weber. Joel was living with the couple when a deeper connection with Elizabeth began to form. "Bill and I spent a lot of time together," Elizabeth explained in the film, calling it a "slow build."
The simmering tension erupted when Joel confronted his friend with a painful admission: "I'm in love with your wife."
The fallout was immediate and devastating. The confession not only destroyed the band but also fractured a deep friendship, leaving Joel consumed by remorse. “I felt very, very guilty about it. They had a child. I felt like a homewrecker,” Joel shared, reflecting on the emotional chaos. “I was just in love with a woman and I got punched in the nose which I deserved. Jon was very upset. I was very upset."
With Elizabeth gone and his life in disarray, Joel’s world crumbled. He found himself homeless and overwhelmed by a crushing depression. “I had no place to live. I was sleeping in laundromats and I was depressed I think to the point of almost being psychotic," he recounted in the documentary. "So I figured, 'That’s it. I don’t want to live anymore.' I was just in a lot of pain and it was sort of like why hang out, tomorrow is going to be just like today is and today sucks. So, I just thought I’d end it all."
This despair led to a drastic act. Using sleeping pills obtained from his sister, Judy Molinari, Joel attempted to end his life. “But Billy decided that he was going to take all of them… he was in a coma for days and days and days," Molinari recalled with emotion. The sight of him in the hospital was terrifying for her. "I went to go see him in the hospital, and he was laying there white as a sheet. I thought that I’d killed him."
Surviving the overdose didn't immediately quell his pain. Joel admitted he was "very selfish" then, and upon waking, his first thought was to try again, but to do it "right." His second attempt involved ingesting a bottle of "lemon Pledge," as revealed by Molinari. In a remarkable twist of fate, it was Jon Small—the friend he had betrayed—who intervened.“Even though our friendship was blowing up, Jon saved my life,” Joel stated.
Related: Billy Joel Reveals Major Health Diagnosis After Canceling Entire Tour
Small, who eventually reconnected with and forgave his friend, offered his own insight into Joel's actions. "He never really said anything to me," Small said. "The only practical answer I can give as to why Billy took it so hard was because he loved me that much and that it killed him to hurt me that much. Eventually I forgave him."
Recognizing he was a "lost soul," Joel checked himself into a psychiatric facility for observation. That brief stay became a pivotal moment of clarity. Instead of being destroyed by his experiences, he saw a new path forward.
"I got out of the observation ward and I thought to myself, you can utilize all those emotions to channel that stuff into music," he said.
This dark chapter, marked by a complex love story that saw him and Elizabeth Weber marry years later (from 1973-1982), became the crucible in which his artistic identity was forged. The pain, guilt, and ultimate survival were transformed into the powerful, narrative-driven songs that would make him a global icon.Billy Joel: And So It Goes is scheduled to arrive on HBO in July.
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or struggling with suicidal thoughts, help is available 24 hours a day through the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988.
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