Men often give me their unsolicited opinions about Kylie Minogue. This is partly because men just can’t help themselves, and partly because my dog is named after her. “I never liked her,” one guy loitering outside a pub said recently while Kylie (the dog) eyed up his kebab. “She’s a bit lightweight.”
I understand on a conceptual level what he means: frothy pop, sparkly hotpants, bubble perms, the Locomotion. She’s not about to start making political statements or ruffling feathers: she’s just here to facilitate a good time. Last night, on the eve of her 57th birthday and midway through her “Tension” tour, Kylie was facilitating the hell out of a good time at the O2 in London. The tiny popstar was having the most fun out of everyone in the arena – and everyone in that arena was having a lot of fun.
From the moment she emerged in purple PVC through to the dazzling euphoria of set closer “Love at First Sight”, she vamped and grinned her way through a frankly absurd array of hits. Though the tour is named for her 2023 career-redefining album, it was as much a retrospective as anything else, with even the tracks from 1989’s Enjoy Yourself given thundering, vibe-levelling club makeovers.
The minimalist staging and Windows XP screensaver video backdrops would have made a lesser popstar look a bit amateur, as though maybe they cheaped out on the spectacle. But Kylie doesn’t need it: she’s everywhere all the time, smiling, filling the space around her in a way that makes even those in the rafters feel like they’re a chosen invitee to her intimate little get together.
Kylie’s show was dazzling (Photo: Jim Dyson/Getty Images)Also on that invite list: dancers dressed like Trojan Brit award statues and trippy Teletubbies, and a live band that brought new depth to the songs. The majestic orchestral intro to “Come Into My World” gave even the na-na-nas emotional heft, the stripped back bait-and-switch of “Say Something” shattered into a thousand disco-ball twinkles as it found its true disco groove. You know you’ve got hits to spare when a banger like “Spinning Around” is chucked in seven songs in.
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Her range is impressive – from the head-voice highs of “Things We Do for Love” to the husky lows of “Padam Padam”, the latter surprisingly understated for the monster viral hit it was in 2023. Instead, it’s “All The Lovers” and “Love At First Sight” that really pop off either side of it: “Padam” may have got Kylie her flowers but she proved again and again that she deserved them all along.
When the world feels like it’s falling down around us, finding joy where you can is a political act. Kylie Minogue’s Tension Tour was one big, chaotic speedrun of joy. Fellas, is it lightweight to make 20,000 people forget about the horrors for two hours on a Tuesday night? It didn’t feel lightweight to me. It felt like the purest reminder of what pop music is all about: finding community, sharing power and singing really loudly into the night.
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