Jeremy Clarkson is already bored of farming – he’s in his pub era now ...Middle East

You might think that Jeremy Clarkson is getting the hand of farming. It has, after all, been 17 years since he bought his Cotswolds farm, Diddly Squat, and six since the former Top Gear presenter took on the job of farming the land himself. But in the opening episodes of the latest series of Clarkson’s Farm, it seems he has learned, well, diddly squat.

At least he knows it, though. “Turns out I’m not Jethro Tull,” he laments after a failed experiment in painting a straight guideline with his tractor. “I’m just a hapless f***wit.” This self-deprecation has become Clarkson’s signature attitude since he allowed us to go behind the scenes on his farm in his Prime Video series, making even his most staunch critics warm to him – myself included.

As this fourth series opens, Clarkson is running Diddly Squat alone. Farmer Kaleb Cooper – a breakout star of the previous series – is capitalising on his newfound fame by embarking on a theatre tour, entertaining his devotees up and down the UK. Meanwhile, Clarkson’s girlfriend Lisa Hogan is off on what he calls a “thin, blonde Oxfordshire women project” learning how to create scents. With no help on hand, Clarkson trundles around the farm, half-heartedly fulfilling his duties of feeding the cows and goats, who invariably escape from their pens. 

It’s not long before farm manager Charlie Ireland drafts in a replacement Kaleb, in the form of Harriet Cowan, a young farmer from Derbyshire, whose thick fake eyelashes and curled blonde hair are slightly incongruous with the hard labour she excels at. Clarkson has previously called Clarkson’s Farm a “genuine reality show”, but the arrival of Harriet is the first time that the programme has felt artificial.

She just happens to be a successful TikTokker, whose 38,000 followers lap up her updates about farming life – surely some of those will follow her over to Prime Video? Nevertheless, Harriet makes a wonderful addition to the Diddly Squat family, getting away with teasing Clarkson over his age and his overgrown eyebrows.

While Clarkson gamely giggles along, there’s a spark missing in the presenter this time around. Perhaps it’s the incessant rain that is making farming an impossible task – literally, nothing can be planted – but Clarkson seems fed up with his lot; exhausted, even, with the repetitive slog of farm life. Perhaps that’s why half the series doesn’t focus on Diddly Squat at all, but on his new dream of buying, renovating and running a country pub.

Much of the opening four episodes (sorry, “chapters”) are dedicated to Clarkson’s search for the perfect venue. As ever, there are reams of red tape to avoid, made even more difficult by the fact he wants to open a butchers and a shop and serve food on the same site. Cue yet more meetings with his mortal enemy, the local council planners.  

Along the way, Clarkson grieves the loss of the thousands of pubs that have been forced into closure over the last decade. He makes a tenuous but well-meaning connection between the lack of pubs and the loneliness epidemic, which is hitting farmers particularly hard. Opening a pub is undeniably a noble pursuit – but this is supposed to be Clarkson’s Farm, not Clarkson’s Pub.

While a fifth series has already been given the green light by Amazon, Clarkson has said that he will only be interested in a sixth if there is a “bloody good story” to tell. He might be a (rubbish) farmer now, but Clarkson is a TV presenter first; he knows that the ups and downs of farming life can only sustain a programme for so long. And he’s right. I’m just not sure who will get bored first: us or Clarkson.

‘Clarkson’s Farm’ is streaming on Prime Video. New episodes stream from next Friday

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