You may well always remember where you were when you saw this: school dinners could encourage picky-eaters to try a wider variety of foods, according to a new study. In other words, you have just read the first positive sentence about school dinners ever written in the entire history of language.
This research, courtesy of the University of Bristol, revealed that fussy eaters no longer avoided meat, fish or fruit when having school dinners rather than packed lunches, and ate a wider variety of foods. They also made more similar choices to their culinarily open-minded peers.
Nostalgia can create a rose-tinted rear-view mirror, of course. And so, school dinners are sometimes looked back on almost fondly, à la Blitz Spirit – This-Grub-Is-The-Pits Spirit – but they were often so bad they verged on traumatic. The aeroplane food of our youths. I have never seen pink custard since. Ditto Spam Fritters – the Turkey Twizzler of its day – semolina, which needed a dollop of jam to make it even vaguely palatable, mince and carrots, Smash Instant Mash, corned beef.
Contrary to the findings in this report, I’d argue that having to eat school dinners created picky eaters rather than curing them. For example, my friend’s husband should be kept in a lab full time and studied, because he has a list of mind-bogglingly strict food rules, despite being an adult and otherwise fully functioning member of society. This man will not eat anything that grows. Yes to egg yolks, absolutely never to the whites. No cold food under any circumstances.
In case you didn’t process the enormity of that: he lives a life without sandwiches. Can you imagine? On the rare occasions he deigns to have cereal, he “has” to put it in the microwave first. It’s a wonder my friend doesn’t have a permanent view of the back of her own head, from rolling her eyes far more than must be medically advisable.
If you’re wondering – presuming, hoping – that school dinners are better nowadays, I’m afraid all signs point to nope, at least at my 10-year-old son’s primary school. On Wednesdays they serve a delicacy the children call Mystery Mush. One day last week when asked what he’d had for lunch he reported it had been just “rice, with the juice of baked beans”. Yum.
In the school’s defence, there is a salad bar. And if you have kids or have ever been a kid, or known a kid, you can probably take a wild guess as to exactly how popular it is.
My boy wouldn’t dream of going anywhere near the salad bar, because he is the king of the picky eaters. I know it’s tedious when parents endlessly boast about their children’s achievements, but he’s also such a slow eater he’s been put in a special group who get to go in for lunch first. So he takes for ever to consume hardly anything.
His food quirks aren’t quite on my friend’s husband’s level (tempting fate much?) but they are equally bewildering and annoyingly illogical. He will eat chips but not roast potatoes. This bothered me so much I almost definitely too forcefully encouraged him to try a roast potato a few years ago, to prove they’re basically the same as chips.
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As soon as he put it in his mouth it was apparent he didn’t agree, in the strongest possible terms. He looked so unhappy and panicked that I put my cupped hand in front of him, so he could spit the potato out, and he was delicately sick into it. I haven’t made him try roasties since, although obviously we say “Good – all the more for us” reverse psychology-style whenever we have them and no, of course it doesn’t work.
The worst thing about having a picky-eating kid is that it’s my karmic payback, for being one. My parents despaired throughout my childhood, and smiled politely when well-meaning friends assured them I’d grow out of it, just like I do when people say it about my son. And I have grown out of it, mostly. Admittedly, I do have the same lunch nearly every single day, but Jennifer Aniston always had a cobb salad for the 10-plus years she was on the set of Friends, so that means it’s ok, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? Eek. Maybe I actually do need to broaden my horizons. Wonder if I can join the queue for Mystery Mush next Wednesday…
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