People Who Were Bullied in Childhood Often Develop These 14 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say ...Saudi Arabia

Childhood bullying is alive and well today, and there's a greater focus on its short and long-term effects. However, you may know of the harms all too well if you were constantly bullied in childhood because you live with them daily."Bullying can have deep, lasting effects that shape how someone sees themselves, how they relate to others, and how safe they feel in the world," explains Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor.However, it's hard to pinpoint a list of common traits of people who were bullied in childhood because the long-lasting impacts aren't so black and white."One adult may show more take-charge behavior that is effective and welcomed," points out Dr. Michele Leno, Ph.D., LP,a licensed psychologist with DML Psychological Services, PLLC. "Another adult, displaying the same assertiveness, may appear more defensive."Either is understandable after experiencing childhood bullying. Drs. Leno and Lira de la Rosa, along with a pair of other psychologists, dug deeper into common traits seen in adults who were bullied as children and how to heal.Related:People Who Felt Constantly Scolded as Children Usually Develop These 10 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

Psychologists share that low self-worth is one of the most ubiquitous traits in people who experienced childhood bullying."Because they were repeatedly told, either directly or indirectly, that they didn’t belong or weren’t good enough, they may carry a harsh inner critic or constantly question their value, especially in relationships or work settings," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says.

2. Perfectionism

Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks, says adults who grew up being bullied often become perfectionists or chronic overachievers.

"The child may have developed the belief that if they prove that they are good enough, the bullying will stop," Dr. Miller explains. "In adulthood, perfectionism and over-achieving mindsets often manifest in rigidity, high self-criticism and avoidance of tasks due to being overworked."Related: 7 Signs of 'High-Functioning Depression,' According to a Columbia-Trained Psychiatrist

Adults bullied in childhood may be on a mission to move on, which is understandable. However, it can manifest in unhealthy ways."Adults who were bullied may display exaggerated self-worth," Dr. Leno says. "While grandiosity is often viewed as a mask for underlying inferiority, not every grandiose person is insecure. A healed person may be grandiose simply because it represents their personality, while an unhealed person may be grandiose because it reflects who they desire to become."

4. Chronic angry outbursts

Dr. Lira de la Rosa says people bullied in childhood may be angry about the experience, but they don't direct it at the bullies. Instead, he says they often turn inward. However, eventually, those feelings come out."This anger can show up in self-sabotaging behaviors or sudden emotional reactions that seem 'out of the blue' but are really tied to old wounds that never got the attention they needed," he explains.Related:People Who Were 'Constantly Excluded' in Childhood Often Develop These 11 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

Another pitfall of the self-blame game? There is a constant need to bend over backward for everyone else.

"Not understanding that bullying was not your fault may lead to misguided attempts to morph into a more 'accepted' or 'likable' person," Dr. Leno says.Related: Individuals Who Grew Up as 'People-Pleasers' Usually Develop These 12 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

6. Lack of assertiveness

Dr. Miller says that this trait can stem from the lingering effects of feeling helpless and unable to control how others treated you as a child."As an adult, you may not believe that you have the right to voice their needs or stand up for yourself," Dr. Miller says.

The sky may always feel like it's falling now that you're an adult. However, this Chicken Little attitude is your attempt at keeping yourself safe."Hypersensitivity is a protective factor that helped during the time of being bullied," Dr. Miller points out. "If they were aware enough of others’ moods and behaviors, they could either escape the situation or try to control it to de-escalate the other person’s actions or words. This can be a symptom of PTSD."

8. Anxiousness in social settings

The Chicken Little in you may especially come out when you're around others, like at a party or around the workplace water cooler."The anxiety is tied to the unpredictability of others’ moods and behaviors," Dr. Miller explains. "This can result in the adult isolating from others or withdrawing from social situations with little provocation."Related:Child Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Start Using This One Confidence-Boosting Phrase

Getting to know a person bullied in childhood may feel akin to peeling a sticker off a wall in your home that predates you living there."Adults who were bullied as kids may be more defensive, especially toward new people," Dr. Leno says. "Their guard may lower as they get to know you."

10. Trust issues

The guardness might stem from trust issues."Mistreatment during formative years can also result in difficulty trusting others, as fears of betrayal or hurt create barriers to opening up and relying on people," shares Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a psychologist with Duality Psychological Services. "Social interactions can feel unsafe, leading to social withdrawal and isolation, which could hinder the development of relationships and essential social skills."

Conflict is normal and part of even the healthiest relationships, but that's not what victims of bullying learn."They learned via their childhood bully that conflict means that they will be hurt, perhaps emotionally and/or physically," Dr. Miller says.As a result, she shares that adults who experienced childhood bullying may try to protect themselves by avoiding conflict at all costs—ironically, at a cost to them."Adults who avoid conflict are over-accommodating and show low concern for their own needs and wants, which can lead to unresolved issues and resentment," she explains.

12. Fears of rejection

Dr. Frank says that the repeated rejection or exclusion involved in bullying can make victims too scared to pursue relationships and career opportunities that might benefit them as adults."This is to shield themselves from further anticipated hurt," Dr. Frank stresses.

Dr. Leno shares that It's natural to want better for our kids."However, projecting your experiences onto your child can compromise your relationship and their development," Dr. Leno says. "On a positive note, they may immediately recognize the effects of bullying, allowing them to get ahead of any lasting damage."

14. Advocacy

One more silver lining: "Children who grew up being bullied may be more likely to stand up for those being abused or mistreated," Dr. Miller reports. "The adult knows what it is like to be bullied and may want to protect others in ways he or she may not have been protected."Related:One Thing You Should Never, Ever Do if You Have a Narcissistic Parent

How To Heal From Childhood Bullying as an Adult

Become the person you needed and deserved as a child."Practicing self-compassion is key," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Many adults who were bullied are far harder on themselves than they would ever be on someone else. Learning to treat themselves with kindness, especially during moments of stress or failure, can help break the cycle of internalized shame."

2. Find community

Not all people are bullies. Promise."Whether through friendships, support groups, or spaces where people feel truly seen and accepted, positive social connection can be a powerful antidote to the isolation and fear that bullying often creates," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Healing happens in relationships, with ourselves and with others."

Dr. Leno suggests being open about your experiences and the negative impacts of bullying."This will help you process your own experiences while raising awareness about a common occurrence that is often minimized and misunderstood," she explains.

4. Self-reflect

Dr. Leno shares that the bullied can become the bully."As the popular saying goes, 'Hurt people, hurt people,'" she points out. "Examine your own behavior to ensure that your actions are not oppressive...[to] help you ensure that your healing process is not harming others."

5. Seek help

You don't have to heal alone.

"Seeking therapy can be a great way to work through past experiences, challenge negative self-beliefs and build healthier ways to cope," Dr. Frank says. "A therapist can help a person dig into the root of lingering emotional struggles."

Up Next:

Related: A Clinical Psychologist Is Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Making This Punishment Mistake

Sources:

Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( People Who Were Bullied in Childhood Often Develop These 14 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say )

Also on site :

• Mass shooting in Myrtle Beach tourist hotspot leaves 11 injured, suspect killed by police
• At Least 11 Dead After Driver Plowed Into Crowd at a Filipino Festival in Vancouver
• Fragile peace shattered: Kashmir attack pushes India, Pakistan to brink