DEAR HARRIETTE: My 10-year-old daughter recently asked me if she could be homeschooled, and her reason completely broke my heart. She told me that she doesn’t have any friends at school.
She said she’s tired of spending every recess and lunch period alone, watching the other kids laugh and play in their groups while she sits by herself. She made it clear that no one is bullying her or being outright mean. According to her, the other kids aren’t interested in the same things as her, and because of that, they don’t invite her to play or talk.
She said it’s like she’s invisible, and that going to school each day makes her feel sad and left out.
It was hard to hear that, and I’ve been turning it over in my head ever since.
I don’t want to dismiss her feelings, and I want her to know I take them seriously. I also worry about taking her out of school too quickly. I’m torn between wanting to protect her from this sadness and wanting to help her work through it in a way that builds resilience and social skills.
Would homeschooling really be the best option, or is there something else I should try first?
— Homeschool
DEAR HOMESCHOOL: Talk to your daughter’s teacher or the school’s guidance counselor about strategies to integrate her into social life there. Enroll her in extracurricular activities that she finds interesting to boost her social engagement. Consider moving her to another school before bringing her home.
If you do decide on homeschooling, make sure you have the time and patience to teach her. To learn more about how to begin homeschooling, visit hslda.org/post/7-simple-steps-to-start-homeschooling.
Know, however, that even if you take this step, you will still need to make every effort to find ways to get your daughter to interact with kids her own age so that she can develop the social skills she will need in life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I volunteer at my local humane society every weekend, and over the past several months, I’ve developed a real connection with one of the cats there.
Her name is Marbles, and she has been at the shelter for more than a year now. She has had a rough past, and she can be a bit aggressive at times, especially around strangers or loud noises, but there’s a deep sadness in her eyes that breaks my heart. Despite her tough exterior, she’s really opened up to me, and I can tell she trusts me.
I really want to adopt her, but my boyfriend is completely against having pets.
He says they’re too much responsibility and mess and that it would make our apartment feel chaotic. We’ve talked about it several times, and he hasn’t budged.
I understand where he’s coming from, but I can’t stop thinking about Marbles and how much she needs a stable home and someone who truly understands her. It feels like I’m abandoning her every time I leave.
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— Love That Stray
DEAR LOVE THAT STRAY: As torn as you are, it would be unfair to the cat to bring her into a home where she isn’t welcome. The animal has already been traumatized by whatever happened in the past. The best you can do is love her when you are there with her and keep your eyes open for someone who may be the perfect person to take her home.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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