By SwimSwam Contributors on SwimSwam
Courtesy: Blaine Hubbuch
Let me tell you about a time I ACCIDENTALLY stole a car! It was December 1995, and I was on a Christmas Training trip with the Northwestern University Men’s Swimming and Diving team. To our delight, this particular year’s destination was the sun-soaked island of Oahu in Hawaii.
We had just finished practice for the morning and were back at the hotel deciding how we would each spend the day. The coaches had rented several Ford Econoline 15-passenger vans for exploring the island, and I was in charge of the van that would be going to Makapuu Beach, located in the southeast corner of the island, just beyond the better-known snorkeling tourist hotspot, Hanauma Bay. With its uncrowded shores and waves ideally suited for body surfing, Makapuu was a team favorite. However, on this particular morning, the majority of the team opted to attend the annual Pipe Masters surfing contest at the famous Banzai Pipeline, leaving just six of us bound for Makapuu.
As we navigated the winding, coastal highway on the cliffs high above the Pacific Ocean, Makapuu slowly revealed to us its secluded beach down the hill. We found a parking spot in the middle of the lot, grabbed our gear, and headed for the beach. Several hours later, with sand-skinned knees from repeated, failed attempts to tame Mother Nature in her ocean, it was time to head back for practice. We unlocked the doors to the van and jumped in, reluctant to return for what would surely be another grueling workout. As we sat there getting situated for the drive back to town, something seemed off. A sippy cup sat in the cup holder, a Disney-themed beach towel was draped over the back seat, and most concerning of all, a man’s wallet lay on the floo,r containing the ID of someone we didn’t know. THIS WASN’T OUR VAN! We quickly exited and searched the premises. To our dismay, our van wasn’t anywhere in sight. A teammate then made a bold suggestion, “Since our key successfully unlocked the van, maybe it would start the engine too!” It certainly seemed plausible, so I gave it a shot. Viola!! It worked, and the van rumbled to life. We then came to a conclusion that sealed our fate and decided the best course of action was to drive the van back to our hotel and coordinate a swap later. We rationalized that this family must have chosen the wrong van, experienced the same key mix-up that we did, and innocently took our van by mistake. It seemed so obvious!
As we cruised back up the highway toward Waikiki, confidence growing in our solution, someone suddenly shouted, “Turnaround! There’s our van!” Sure enough, there it was sitting in an empty McDonald’s parking lot. Once parked, half our crew ran inside to look for the family so we could make the exchange. The rest of us proudly approached our van, only to have our confidence shattered as we noticed the driver’s door slightly ajar with a jimmied ignition, revealing the bitter truth. Our van hadn’t been mistakenly taken; it had been hotwired and stolen. Panic quickly ensued upon realizing we had unknowingly stolen a vehicle, leaving a family stranded at the beach with no ride home.
Before calling the police, we decided to get an adult involved to help lend some credibility to our story. Since this was before the age of cell phones, we scrounged up a quarter and called our hotel from a pay phone. Luckily, Dan Walter, the diving coach, answered and agreed to meet us. (Fun fact: Dan was the stunt double who filmed the sequence of dives that would become the famous “Triple Lindy” dive for the classic 1986 Rodney Dangerfield movie, Back To School.) As Dan arrived with an eye roll, so did the police, and we struggled to explain our story to the officers. To our surprise, they said this happens often because for some inexplicable reason, rental car companies use universal keys for their vans. They also explained that 15-passenger, Econoline van theft is extremely common since these vans are typically used by tourists and make easy targets for criminals. The officers proceeded to “legally hotwire” our van so we could drive it back to the rental agency, but first, we had to get the van we “borrowed” back to its rightful owners.
In a scene straight out of a comedy, we formed a caravan, led by a siren-blaring, lights-flashing police escort, back to Makapuu Beach. When we arrived, a bewildered family sat on the curb, watching in disbelief as our chaotic parade pulled into the lot. I sheepishly handed the father his key and tried to offer an apology hoping for some sort of sympathy. Instead, he just stared at me and said, “Really? You guys go to Northwestern?” With a nervous laugh and my pride shattered, I turned and walked away.
And that’s how a sunny beach day in paradise turned into an accidental case of grand theft auto, with six embarrassed swimmers, one magical key, and zero chance of ever living it down.
ABOUT BLAINE HUBBUCH
Blaine Hubbuch grew up swimming in Louisville, KY, training with the elite Lakeside Seahawks program, best known as the home of Olympic legend Mary T. Meagher. He once shared a lane with Mary T while she was preparing for the 1988 Summer Games. What started as the thrill of a lifetime ended with him being lapped multiple times and receiving a generous slice of humble pie. Undeterred, he went on to a successful collegiate career competing for Northwestern University under Coach Bob Groseth. In his spare time, he casually writes on the sport of swimming, with his first article appearing in the spring 2025 issue of SwimSwam (“Dennis Pursley: You Don’t Miss Practice”). Blaine lives in the Chicago suburbs with his wife and two daughters. He still swims laps regularly, not to chase Olympic dreams, but to justify second helpings at dinner.
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