14 Signs of 'Deep Loneliness' To Look Out For ...0

Loneliness of any kind can harm a person's health, but psychologists say deep or chronic loneliness is incredibly profound. Unfortunately, it can be challenging to spot the signs of deep loneliness when it's in the early stages."Deep loneliness can be one of the root causes of other more 'obvious' or easier-to-identify mental health concerns," says Dr. Hannah Yang, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Balanced Awakening. "It can activate the body’s fight or flight mechanism and keep cortisol chronically elevated, leading to inflammatory-based diseases such as heart disease, diabetes and stroke."There's a reason former Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy pointed to research comparing loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes per day in 2023. Dr. Yang says that the sooner we notice signs of deep loneliness in ourselves or those we love, the sooner help and healing can begin. She and other psychologists share signs of deep loneliness and what to do.Related: People Who Felt Lonely as Children Usually Develop These 13 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say

"Deep loneliness" isn't a clinical diagnosis, but it's an experience—and a problem."Deep loneliness, also sometimes referred to as chronic loneliness, is an internal state of persistent detachment and emotional isolation from others," says Dr. Michele Goldman, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "It is a lack of meaningful connections and relationships with other people."It's similar but not precisely the same as "loneliness.""Most people have had brief, temporary times of feeling lonely, but deep loneliness is more intense and longer lasting," explains Dr. Brandy Smith, Ph.D.,a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks. "It can also involve not feeling a meaningful connection to people, even when having people to interact with."Notably, Dr. Goldman says deep loneliness isn't a matter of "not trying hard enough" or "not putting yourself out there."People who feel deep loneliness can try repeatedly to foster healthy connections, but they somehow do not develop," she explains.So, don't blame yourself if many of these red flags sound familiar. Related: This Is the Exact Age When We Tend to Feel the Most Lonely—and What to Do About It

14 Signs of Deep Loneliness, According to Psychologists

Trust is an integral part of genuine relationships, which is why people who struggle with it are more prone to profound loneliness."Someone might push others away because they have an internal belief that people are not reliable, and they fear being hurt or rejected," says Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist.

2. Not accepted by peers

It's possible to be lonely in a crowded room. Dr. Goldman says people who aren't accepted by their peers are often experiencing deep loneliness.  "They might be a part of the group but also somehow off to the side," she explains. "This is a sign of being socially withdrawn even when in the presence of other people."

Who would you call or text if you were in the hospital? Deeply lonely people may not have a person or people."It’s important for us to [know] that we have people we can reach out to, but when deep loneliness is present, we do not feel that way," Dr. Smith stresses. "This may literally be because there is no one the person truly can reach out to, or it may be the perception that there is no one to reach out to."She says it's devastating not to have a person we can identify as someone who cares about us, whether it's perception or reality.

4. Feeling alone with 'your people'

Maybe you think you have people, or, more accurately, thought you had people. Dr. Yang says it's common for deeply lonely people to feel alone or disconnected from connections they once considered their crew."Sometimes, as we grow as a person, we naturally grow away from some of the people around us," she explains. "However, even in those situations, we feel a sense of basic connectedness and a drive to perhaps go and find people who resonate more with our experiences now."What Dr. Yang is describing is something different."It's a feeling of numbness of indifference like the people who are 'your people' don’t understand you anymore," she continues.

Yes, it's possible to stand alone in a crowded room. However, never being invited to join the room can signal and trigger deep loneliness."If someone is not invited to things or is not having others initiate at least some interactions, it understandably can contribute to a person not feeling important or feeling like they are disposable," Dr. Smith says.

6. Low self-worth

Dr. Goldman says intensely lonely people frequently struggle with low self-worth and feelings of "emptiness or wrongness" in their bodies."This usually includes negative thoughts about self, wanting to feel differently internally than they feel, but feeling different or not good enough," she explains. 

Dr. Goldman says anyone can experience deep loneliness, whether they are introverted or extroverted. "It is a common misconception that only introverts or shy people are lonely — that’s untrue," she shares. "Sometimes the person who is the most outgoing can feel deep loneliness because of that internal sense that something is missing in their relationships. This might mean a person’s relationships are quite superficial and lacking emotional depth."Related: 6 Behaviors That Signal a Person's Lonely, According to Psychologists

8. Difficulty having deeper conversations

The lack of emotional depth can extend to conversations, which may not get past the "small talk" stage."While surface interaction can help some, depth is important," Dr. Smith says. "If there is not something that feels like sufficient depth for the individual, then a sense of deep loneliness can still be present even if interactions are happening."

Dr. Goldman says social events and engagement can exhaust a chronically lonely person. "They are trying hard to be accepted, but feeling lonely in a group setting can feel very tiring," she explains.

10. Withdrawing

Drs. Goldman and Schiff agree that the emotional exhaustion from social engagement can lead a person to become more withdrawn (especially if all that work seems like it's for nothing)."Socially withdrawing...is a response to feeling emotionally exhausted and thinking that socializing won't make a difference," Dr. Schiff says. "They think they are better off alone and don't see the point in reaching out to others."

Can't stop thinking about that one maybe-awkward thing you said at a party last year? Dr. Schiff says you may be ruminating or having overactive thoughts.   Ruminating and having overactive thoughts...prevent [people] from focusing on the present because they [keep thinking about] past rejects or social interactions in their mind, questioning and analyzing everything," Dr. Schiff notes.

12. Chronic, unexplained depressed feelings

Loneliness can become your default. "You may not recognize that you are lonely anymore, but everything in life might start to feel harder to do and take longer," Dr. Yang says. "You might start having a harder time getting out of bed, or your exercise routine might fall away, and gradually, your mood worsens." All of these feelings can signal depression.

Social health can affect physical health."Our health has a lot of factors and layers, but one to potentially investigate if you have ongoing health issues or illness is whether you might be chronically lonely," Dr. Yang says.

14. Lack of purpose or meaning in life

Connection gives us meaning. "Oftentimes, our most meaningful relationships come from engaging in areas of our life that are most important to us," Dr. Yang explains. "If you’re not sure what your purpose is at the moment, and you’re struggling to find meaning to your life, your relationships are going to reflect that by having a lack of purpose or meaning."Related: Psychologists Are Begging People To Pay Attention to These 11 Early Signs of Loneliness

Seeking help from a qualified professional is Dr. Goldman's No.1 piece of advice."This can be either a mental health provider or another health care provider, like primary care," she shares. "Chronic loneliness can have serious negative impacts, especially if left unaddressed. Additionally, you do not want to feel entirely alone in your deep loneliness. Opening up to another person can be the first step towards helping yourself."

2. Speak with a friend

Dr. Yang agrees about the importance of speaking with a treatment provider. She also says speaking with someone else, like a partner or trusted friend, can be helpful."The first step in getting help and feeling better is often voicing out loud to someone how we’ve been feeling," she explains. "Sometimes, by speaking our feelings out loud, we get new ideas about solutions. By being vulnerable with someone and sharing some of your feelings, you’re breaking through the barrier of deep loneliness and at least attempting to make a connection."

Social interactions can feel exhausting if you are deeply lonely. Go slow and give yourself grace."Taking small steps toward social connection can make a significant difference, and it is more accessible instead of being daunting and overwhelming," Dr. Schiff points out. "Text a friend, join a group activity or attend something in the community. Over time, these small actions build up and foster a sense of belonging."

4. Take a walk and intentionally smile

The smile doesn't even need to be directed at another human—a flower works just fine. Dr. Yang says this approach to working on deep loneliness is highly accessible (most people can walk for five minutes) and low-risk (you can smile at anything)."As you get more comfortable, you can practice making eye contact with strangers and smiling," she explains. "It may take weeks of smiling at nature before you feel ready to smile at people. That’s OK."

5. Find activities of interest that can help you connect with others

Pursuing a hobby or passion might help you overcome the hurdle of going out and doing something.  "We have to put ourselves out there to increase our odds of finding connections," Dr. Smith says. "If you are doing something you are genuinely interested in—even if you’re not good at it!—you know there’s already something you may have in common with others you meet there."

Up Next:

Related: People Who Become Lonelier as They Get Older Usually Display These 10 Subtle Behaviors, Psychologists Say

Sources:

Read More Details
Finally We wish PressBee provided you with enough information of ( 14 Signs of 'Deep Loneliness' To Look Out For )

Also on site :

• Taylor Swift Subtly Supports Kylie Kelce After Birth of Baby
• Jason Kelce's Comment About Baby Daughter Leaves Fans Saying the Same Thing
• Meghan Markle admits she has much to learn in the kitchen after With Love recipes spark mixed reactions