Chelsea Handler's seventh book, I'll Have What She's Having, hits stands Tuesday, Feb. 25, the same day the outspoken comedian turns 50. The honest and hilarious collection of essays showcases Handler's path to becoming the woman she is today, from when she was a kid running a spiked lemonade stand to now.
In the excerpt that follows (including the audiobook chapter below), Handler explains how Jane Fonda helped her along the way. Read the full story below, but beware: It will give you secondhand embarrassment.
***
I got an email from Jane Fonda one day that said, “Hi, Chelsea, It’s Jane. I was wondering if you could come over to my house for dinner. I’d like to talk to you about a couple of things.”
This sounded ominous. I had been friends with Jane for at least ten years and it seemed like sort of a terse email to get from her, but since Jane Fonda is a f--king legend, I didn’t hesitate to respond with “Of course. Let me know when.”
“Tonight at seven.”
Jesus, I thought. This sounds like I’m in trouble — and I was exactly right. I was in trouble.
Chelsea Handler's 'I'll Have What She' Having'Random House
When I got to Jane’s house, her chef opened the door, walked me inside, and asked if I wanted something to drink. “No, thank you,” I answered, thinking, If I’m about to be reprimanded, I want to be fully alert for my defense.
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Jane’s demeanor seemed a bit cold, and I was anxious to find out exactly what I had done. As we sat for dinner and I was offered another drink that I declined, Jane asked me if I knew why she had asked me over for dinner.
“No,” I replied.
“You may have noticed I was a little icy toward you when I saw you at Shonda Rhimes’s fundraiser for Congressman John Lewis.”
The event she was talking about had been three months prior, and the truth was, I had noticed she was a little icy toward me. But I hadn’t obsessed over it, because at that point, I was bouncing through life with no direction or intention and other people’s feelings were not my problem. If I got a negative vibe from someone, I never overanalyzed it, because I wasn’t grounded, and I didn’t overthink anything. When I am grounded, I am as solid as a tree. When I’m not, I’m more like a leaf. I can say that now, because I know what the difference is.
“You behaved badly at my party. From the moment you came in, you had a black cloud hanging over you and you insulted people and it brought the whole party down. I don’t know what drugs you were on, but a few people told me you were horrible to them. I don’t get it,” she said. “Why did you even come if you were in that kind of mood?”
Wow, I thought. This is a doublef--ksywhoopsiedoodle. Jane Fonda calling me out on my badly behaved self was as serious as it gets.
This was definitely not the woman I had dreamed of becoming.
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It was embarrassing, painful, and definitely cringeworthy, but I didn’t let any of those things diminish the fact that Jane had taken the time out of her life to be honest with me. I needed someone to do that with me, and even in that moment of shame I knew she would never have to speak to me about my behavior again because that’s what that kind of honesty deserves: action.
I had just started going to therapy, so there was comfort in knowing I could bring this back to my therapist and have him help me digest and correct my behavior. But on a bigger note, Jane’s admonishment made me understand and think about what it is I am trying to put out into this world. Definitely not what I was doing at Jane’s party. The truth of the matter was: Who knows what drugs I was on? It could have been anything. It’s my state of mind that determines my behavior on drugs, and if I’m in a good place in my life, and I’m grounded, drugs are fun, and so am I; if I’m in a bad state of mind or in a bad time of my life, drugs will only make me defensive or angry, and that’s when I bite.
What struck me in that moment was Jane’s brutal honesty. Something that has defined my entire career, but something I had never been on the receiving side of. I promptly ordered a martini, we continued our dinner, and I told her that while this news was hard to hear, I had been in therapy for the past two months because I knew something was up with me, and that I had in fact been dealing with the issue at hand — my deep anger.
“Good,” she told me. “Go find out what your problem is, because your gifts are plentiful, and sometimes people with the most gifts have the easiest time throwing them in the trash. Don’t be a product of your environment, Chelsea. Make your environment be a product of you.”
This was the definition of sisterhood.
From the book I'll Have What She's Having by Chelsea Handler. Copyright © 2025 by Chelsea Handler. Published by The Dial Press, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random House LLC Audio courtesy of Random House Audio, read by the Author. All rights reserved.
Related: Chelsea Handler Is 'Free' at 50: How Love, Loss—and Therapy—Made Her 'Unshakeable' (Exclusive)
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