Alec Baldwin's new television series hasn't even dropped yet, but he's already made it clear he's not afraid to get vulnerable for the cameras.
In the premiere of their new family reality series The Baldwins, which debuts on TLC on Feb. 23, the actor and his wife, Hilaria Baldwin, detail the impact of Rust cinematographer Halyna Hutchins' accidental death on his mental health.
According to People, who previewed the episode, Hilaria, 41, revealed that following the tragic incident on Oct. 21, 2021—during which the prop gun held by the actor went off with live ammunition—Alec, 66, was diagnosed with PTSD, in addition to his OCD symptoms worsening.
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“Everyone who is close to Alec has seen his mental health decline,” Hilaria said, revealing that the actor often wonders during his "darkest moments" why, "if an accident had to have happened this day," couldn't it have taken him instead.
During a confessional moment, he described the "terrible" year past, revealing that sometimes he'd find himself unable to pull himself out of bed. "That's not like me. I'm not like that at all, not in any way am I like that. Never,” he said. He also recalled not knowing how to answer when someone would ask how he was doing, once admitting, "I'm happier when I'm asleep than when I'm awake.”
Overall, it's been a "surreal" experience for not only the actor but his family. “I mean, I can't even believe that we're going through this, and I always feel more in pain about you than me, because I think to myself, well, you know, I'm going to try my best to just get through it, and I think what it's done to you and how much it's hurt you and everything,” he told Hilaria during the episode.
But on the other hand, his wife and seven children are what got him through the entire situation. “Honestly, from the bottom of my soul, I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have you and these kids going through this," he told her. "I never would have made it with this. Sometimes I'd say, ‘Why did I have seven kids? Why do we have seven kids?’ And I realize, to help carry me and you through this situation.”
In addition to TLC, The Baldwins will also be available to stream the next day on Max.
Next: Alec Baldwin Breaks Down in New Trailer for TLC’s ‘The Baldwins’
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