The alternative 2024 sports awards: quotes, gaffes and animal cameos ...Middle East

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The alternative 2024 sports awards: quotes, gaffes and animal cameos

Clockwise from top left: Gianni Infantino, New York Liberty mascot Ellie the Elephant, an escaped racehorse in New South Wales, Sir Jim Ratcliffe, Paralympic archer Sheetal Devi and her mother.Composite: DAZN; NBAE/Getty Images; Transport for New South Wales; Dides/Villard/SIPA/Shutterstock; @ArcherSheetal/X

Player of the year

Keeper Lewis Patching – saying sorry in March after signing on loan for Rushden & Diamonds, conceding four, headbutting a fan in the bar and being sacked on the same day. “I was disappointed how the game panned out … I’d like to apologise and wish the club/supporter all the best moving forward.”

    Quote of the year

    Chris Wilder – setting out his red lines after Sheffield United’s loss at Palace in January. “It’s a ridiculous performance from the officials. I went to see the referee and I’ve told him that. One of his assistants was eating a sandwich at the time, which I thought was a complete lack of respect. Hopefully he enjoyed his sandwich while he was talking to a Premier League manager.”

    Hero of the year

    Lowest moment

    Came in March as Thames Water opened its sewage outlets during the Boat Race. Oxford’s Leonard Jenkins said the day “would have been nicer” with less human faeces; the firm denied it was to blame for spikes in in-race E Coli: “Taking action to improve the health of rivers is a key focus for us.”

    Best newcomer

    Sir Jim Ratcliffe – easing into big club ownership by chasing public money for his new £2bn Old Trafford, four years after he moved to Monaco saving himself up to £4bn in tax. Ratcliffe’s strategy at United as he cut 250 jobs, raised ticket prices and axed concessions for children: “We need to sweat every pound so that we have more capacity for the investment in players.”

    Employee of the year

    Gladiators’ Mark Clattenburg – taking a second job in March as Forest’s new refereeing consultant, then quitting in May after it damaged his credibility. He told the media why he’d tried but failed to gain access to referee Paul Tierney’s dressing room after a controversial call: “The owner is very upset.”

    Strongest messaging

    F1’s Red Bull, celebrating International Women’s Day on 8 March by a) having the names of female staff printed on the side of their sister team’s cars with the message “Happy International Women’s Day to all the incredible women on our team. You make the difference”, and b) suspending a female employee who made harassment allegations against Christian Horner. Horner, cleared by an internal investigation in August, denies wrongdoing.

    Most alarming flag display

    Fulham, in January.

    Leader of the year

    Gianni Infantino – named International Sports Personality of the year at the Mohammed Bin Rashid Al Maktoum Creative Sports Awards ceremony in Dubai last January. The Fifa leader said the trophy for his 2023 work honoured his record of delivering “unity, fair competition and equality. The award fills me with pride.”

    Gianni’s highlights since then:

    Signing off his 33% pay rise to £3.6m, including a £1.5m bonus for his handling of 2023’s Women’s World Cup, where he told women to try harder to “convince us men” on fair pay: “You must pick the right battles. Pick the right fights. You do it. Just do it.”

    Having Fifa cover his personal essential expenses, including rent on domestic properties and $5,000 per month school fees for one of his daughters in Miami.

    Attending the Cop29 climate summit in a private jet.

    And having his own name engraved twice on the new Club World Cup trophy, including this inscription: “We are witness to a new age. The golden era of club football: the pinnacle of all club competitions. Inspired by the Fifa president Gianni Infantino.”

    Get-together of the year

    Came in December as Infantino compèred the award of uncontested World Cup 2034 rights to Saudi Arabia with a mass round of applause via Zoom. “Mabrouk to our friends in Riyadh! Mabrouk to everyone!”

    And Fifa star of the year

    Was Mali’s FA head Mamatou Touré, forced to dial in to a Fifa council meeting remotely in May due to being in prison. Touré, awaiting trial accused of embezzling £22m, won a new four-year term as Mali’s FA president from his cell last year after all the other candidates failed late eligibility tests. He denies wrongdoing.

    Launch of the year

    Came in June, as Uefa opened Euro 2024 with a new environmental and social governance strategy to deliver “the most sustainable Euros of all time, a role model for global events of its kind, investing in climate, and ensuring the rights of all are protected” and a new “official airline partner”, Qatar Airways.

    Politics awards

    Best campaign event: From the Tory election campaign in May as they organised a drink in a brewery in Wales: Rishi Sunak asking Welsh workers, whose side hadn’t qualified, if they were looking forward to Euro 2024. Later campaign crossover highlights included Sunak trying a dribble at Chesham United.

    Toughest journey: Former Tory MP and teacher Jonathan Gullis, starting the year calling for Gary Lineker to stand against him in Stoke “and let the people decide”; ending it slamming a “woke agenda” in schools for him now being unemployed.

    Most considered: Donald Trump, campaigning in July in North Carolina, on why it’s time to hand Nascar drivers a say over US military strategy. “I’ve always said we should get some of those guys … I said let me use these guys to guide our military. It’s the same with coaches, you take some of the greatest football coaches and put them at the table … what do you like, coach? Because, in its own way, it’s not so much really different.”

    And most inappropriate:

    Smartest marketing

    Ensuring days of free publicity for their new products: Nike, adding purple details to the England flag in March, and Team GB, doing the same with the Union flag on their souvenirs. @Nigel Farage, whose old Ukip logo was a purple Union flag, called it “a step too far. Total woke madness that must be reversed.”

    Most Asian friends

    Spain’s Paula Badosa, clearing up confusion in October after a photo emerged of her before the tennis Beijing Open holding chopsticks to her eyes and squinting. “I was not imitating Asian people … I was playing with my face and wrinkles. I love Asia. I have many Asian friends.”

    Also clearing things up

    Kazakhstan’s Yulia Putintseva, shamed in September for humiliating a ballgirl at the US Open by ignoring the balls thrown to her. Putintseva clarified: “I was not trying to humiliate her by not taking this ball that she was giving to me. I didn’t do anything disrespectful to anyone at this particular moment.”

    And Monterrey coach Nico Sánchez, sorry after audio leaked of him calling Lionel Messi a “possessed dwarf” with “the devil’s face” playing for a “dummy” manager who wants to “dirty the pitch” during April’s win over Inter Miami. Sánchez said sorry for the misunderstanding. “I regret any offence taken … I am as Argentine as they come.”

    Worst word processing

    The Irish FA – saying sorry in September for not noticing before going to press that an auto-translate tool had altered some of the Latvia Under-21 players’ names in their matchday programme. The FA said the errors – which turned Robert Melkis into “Robert The Liar”, Bruno Melnis into “Bruno the Black”, Gleb Patika into “Gleb Liked It” and Dario Sits into “Dario Shit” – were regrettable. “It was immediately pulled from sale.”

    Also not paying attention

    Adidas, saying sorry after they chose a number font for their new Germany kit that made the number “44” look like the Nazi SS symbol. Adidas: “We as a company are committed to opposing xenophobia, antisemitism, violence and hatred in every form.”

    Sports Direct, selling a Wales beanie hat in December with Wales spelt wrong. The hats read Cyrmu instead of Cymru; Sports Direct pulled them from sale.

    The Chronicle newspaper in eastern Connecticut running a front page story on a Jets linebacker’s injury status. “Jets’ Mosley Could Return After Bye Week From Herniated Dick In Neck”.

    And the year’s best half-and- half scarf, from the Europa Conference League in May.

    Manager awards

    Most emotional: Lecce manager Roberto D’Aversa, sacked and banned in March after head-butting a Verona player. “I didn’t have the intention of headbutting someone. I entered the pitch to calm it down, to cool it, then in the course of events I became more emotional.” D’Aversa admitted it was “unbecoming”.

    Best connection builder: Neil Harris, 7 Dec 2023: Joins Cambridge. “I’m super-excited to be here. I want to build success, I want to build that connection between the terraces and the pitch.” 21 Feb 2024: Joins Millwall. “It’s an absolute privilege to be here. I want to build that connection between the terraces and the pitch.” 10 Dec 2024: Resigns, days after calling home fans “thickos”.

    And the most in love: Roberto De Zerbi, 5 May 2024: “I would like to stay in Brighton because I love my players, I love this city, I love my club, my fans. I said it in the meeting with the fans, if I’m happy, there isn’t any club that can [persuade] me to change.” 18 May 2024: Changes.

    Least sympathetic kids behind the goal

    Least edifying day out

    December’s made-for-TV Las Vegas Crypto.com Showdown; a four-player LIV Golf v PGA Tour event with a $10m crypto prize pot. Scottie Scheffler, on $62m earnings for the year, said he didn’t understand crypto after winning $5m of it: “I’ll ask a couple of questions.”

    Most off-message

    Taking the edge off F1 organisers’ pre-race PR efforts to push the “magic of Monaco” in May, Max Verstappen, giving an in-race assessment on his team radio while doing 180mph. “Fuck me, this is boring. I should’ve brought my pillow.”

    Worst celebrations

    Most dropped catch of the year

    Most ...

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