This Tiny Tweak to Your Thinking Can Transform Your Relationships, According to Mel Robbins ...Saudi Arabia

It's officially the time of year when many of us begin to look ahead and think about resolutions. While focuses like fitness, travel and career growth are popular choices (for good reason!), letting go of control could be another cornerstone of your 2025 plans. For Mel Robbins, an award-winning podcast host, NYT best-selling author and expert in mindset, behavior change and life improvement, relinquishing control is of paramount importance."The more that you focus on what's out of control, the more out of control you're going to feel," Robbins tells Parade. "And you're never going to be able to control the world around you or the headlines or what other people are doing, saying or feeling."With seven million followers on Instagram, Robbins is used to sharing helpful, inspiring content on a regular basis. However, there's one lesson she's learned, in particular, that's changed her life—not only for personal development and helping anxiety, but also for improved relationships. It centers around surrendering control."The message is very very simple and it is needed and it's going to set you and the people that you love free," she says. And she can't wait for this two-word phrase to change your life as well.Related: 14 Tiny Behavior Tweaks That Make People Respect You More, According to Psychologists

Two words that have the power to transform your relationships? "Let them."Robbins' latest book, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About, which published on December 24, dives into the importance of accepting that you cannot (and should not try to) manage, supervise or oversee everything and everyone around you at all times."The Let Them theory is a mindset tool that immediately shows you what is in your control and what's not in your control," Robbins explains. "It's important because any psychologist will tell you—and I've certainly experienced this in my life, anytime I try to control things that are beyond your control, like what another person's doing or how they feel or what they're going to think about you, it just creates more stress in your life and it creates friction in your relationships."

Related: 75 Inspiring Tony Robbins Quotes To Keep You Moving Forward"There are so many things that are going to stress you out or worry you or frustrate you," she continues. "Whether it's traffic or the lines at the grocery store or the narcissistic personality style of your mother-in-law—these are all things you can't control and that you're never going to be able to change. So why on earth would you give so much time and energy to it?"While your time and energy shouldn't be spent trying to change circumstances or personality types, you also don't necessarily need to sever ties with any individual you disagree with."The Let Them theory is not about cutting people out of your life," Robbins further explains. "It's about creating the space for deeper connection and it's about creating the space for people to have their own experiences in life—without making yourself responsible for everybody's experiences."Related: 'The Biggest Life Lessons My 50s Have Taught Me,' According to MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski

Focusing on What You Can Control

"In life, there are just three things that I control—only three," Robbins says, explaining:

What individuals choose to do with this control makes all the difference."If the line is long at the grocery store, why would you allow that to stress you out?" Robbins asks. "Why not just say, 'Okay, I see that this is not running effectively. It's sort of annoying, but I know my time and energy is valuable, so I'm just going to let them manage the store this way because I can choose whether I stand on this line. I can choose whether I meditate while I'm standing here or I call a friend.'"A few things happen when you make that mindset tweak."When you do that, you are setting up a boundary between you and your energy and the rest of the world, so it doesn't bother you," she says. "And it reminds you that your time and energy has value."

Nathan Congleton/NBC via Getty Images

Related: People Who Stay 'Genuinely Joyful' in Their 50s and Beyond Usually Adopt These 8 Habits, Psychologists Say"I didn't discover this till I was 54 years old," Robbins tells Parade. "I literally went about my life allowing traffic and inconsiderate strangers and how long it took people to get off an airplane to drain my life force. And when I started to say, 'Let them,' it's kind of incredible what a power move it is to be peaceful and to not allow things to bother you."Although she wishes she learned this earlier in life, she knows it's a lesson that's crucial to now pass on."There has never been a more important time for you, for your family, for your children to understand that you will never find power in other people and what's happening out there," Robbins explains. "That the power is always in you and how you respond to what's happening—and that's how you take responsibility for your life."

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