ALEXANDRA PALACE — Snow White staggers towards the bus stop with seven dwarves, all over six foot tall, in tow. He takes a deep breath, as if desperately trying to recapture any alcohol he just exhaled, and begins to sing.
“DON’T TAKE ME HOME”. You know the one.
Not six feet away, two Muppets (the characters, not the insult) are engaged in some light debate.
“Luke Humphries averages just haven’t been on the same level as Luke Littler’s, even if he won the Players Championship final.”
“PLEASE DON’T TAKE ME HOME”.
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Read More“But he just has that ability to get over the line.”
“I JUST DON’T WANT TO GO TO WORK”.
“Look at what he did against Pietreczko and Cullen last year, he should go back-to-back.”
“I WANT TO STAY HERE”.
Their chariot to Alexandra Palace arrives to temporarily temper the fun. But perhaps there is no better scene to explain Humphries’ position in darts, the perennial straight man in a joker’s world. This is the origin of his reputation as boring, understated to a fault, the picture of humility.
In reality, he’s none of those things. Yes, this is the sort of man who produces lines like, “When you’re playing darts, it’s pivotal you get as much sleep as possible”, but he can be deeply interesting on his battle with anxiety and depression, on the future of darts, on his near-five stone weight-loss, on his rivals and friends and days as a roofer. His resilience and mental strength in long form matches is truly remarkable.
But more than anything he’s serious. He’s serious about his own ability, and not afraid to preach the virtues of his own talent and ambition, to a degree that would be considered arrogance if he were not world No 1.
He’s serious in his belief darts can be bigger than golf, tennis and cricket in the UK. He’s deadly serious about winning back-to-back World Championships and securing his own legend before Littler gets even better. His aim for 2024 was to defend one of the four ranking majors he won in 2023 – he managed that at the Players Championship finals at Minehead last month.
It’s this earnestness which is misconstrued as tedium, considered heresy in a sport built on a constant campness and understanding of its inherent ridiculousness, every tongue never too far from its respective cheek.
During the launch event for the World Championship at a “social darts” bar on the Strand where arancini met beermats adorned with Brendan Dolan’s face, he was asked by German broadcaster Sportschau to go through his phone. What was his most recent takeaway? What was his average screen time? What was the last song he listened to?
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Read MoreHe did as he was asked, trapped between utter bafflement at the triviality of his task and his ambassadorial duty, a darting envoi always speaking on behalf of somebody or something.
This is the same vibe he brought to his opening game at the People’s Palace, clapping the crowd, saying post-match they “should be proud of themselves”, big first-team coach turned interim manager energy. For all he’s achieved, there’s still the lingering sense he feels the need to justify his achievements and status. He doesn’t.
Humphries averaged just 83.50 in the first set against Frenchman Thibault Tricole – and 90.79 across the three – but did not drop a leg all match.
This wasn’t his best, but darts thrives on a connecting energy. When one player is so clearly both exhausted and out of his depth, the other underperforming is no surprise.
This is why Littler and Humphries hold quite such value to each other, and to the wider sport. Singular dominance gets very boring. Great players make other greats better, demand new extremes, jointly explore once unimagined potentials.
The Two Lukes are now inextricably linked. Humphries has said he feels like an older brother to the boy king, who he first met at 12.
As the pair walked off the stage during the recent premiere of Sky’s “Game of Throws” documentary, he put a comforting arm around Littler after a long day of media duties, another sign of his perceived responsibility to protect both the game and its prized asset.
“I won my first major a couple of months before Luke appeared on the scene but I feel like we’ve come through it together at the same time,” Humphries has said.
“It’s not like he’s knocking me off my perch or I’m knocking him off his perch. We’re going together.”
To call their relationship a rivalry even feels a stretch too far – this is friendship founded on a shared brilliance, two men choosing to make sense of the world together. Humphries has won four of their last five meetings, although Littler blitzed the next six after the 2024 World Championship final. Humphries reached six significant finals and won three, Littler four and three.
After beating Tricole, Humphries posited: “I think it was good for the sport that I won the Players Championship final”.
His argument went that had Littler won, he would have gone into this tournament the overwhelming favourite, which could have switched fans off. He might well have been right, and long may that balance continue.
Humphries now has at least 10 days off over Christmas before a likely third-round match against Raymond van Barneveld. Attention will turn sharply back to the centre of the current darting universe.
But every friendship group needs its designated driver, and darts needs Humphries, its responsible regulating force, just as much as it needs Luke Littler.
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