TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR STADIUM — Once more onto the beach, Djed Spence, once more. On a beautiful day for a terrible game, Tottenham Hotspur were insipid and pathetic, a dire imitation of even their lowest moments in this generational nadir of a Premier League season.
square FOOTBALL Battle of Bilbao? Spurs vs Man Utd smacks of El Crapico
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Someone, somewhere, bought a half-and-half scarf commemorating this game. Someone flew round the world for it. 60,255 people paid to be here, with the cheapest adult tickets £49 and most well over £60. People spent birthdays and anniversaries here. This was someone’s first football match, and it wouldn’t be a great shock if it was also someone’s last.
Everyone understands the Europa League final is now Tottenham’s priority, but that does not excuse half-pressing and half-trying. Despite eight changes from Thursday’s supposedly seminal win and places in Bilbao to be fought for, this was a team without pride or purpose in what they were doing. They insulted anyone who invested money or time or emotional bandwidth in them.
Given the nominal similarities between Palace and Manchester United’s 3-4-3 frameworks, this could even have been an opportunity to dry-run their defensive structure against wing-backs. Instead they took the executive decision not to mark Daniel Munoz at all, to experiment with just what one player can achieve without any form of resistance or opposition.
United and Spurs have somewhat excused each other as the Dumb and Dumber of this Premier League season, institutional incompetence as performance art only their opponents want to watch. But there really should be no excuse or redemption for Tottenham, the fifth-wealthiest English team, slipping to 17th. Had Ruud van Nistelrooy not totally failed to revive the Leicester corpse, Spurs would have been in a legitimate relegation battle.
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You have to question how much he backed himself into a psychological corner with his pledge to win a second-season trophy, how much he’s been haunted by the spectre of his own hubris. He has so clearly prioritised cup competitions – Spurs have not won any of their six home league games after a European fixture this season, losing four.
Post-match, Postecoglou claimed confusion at how his side could play this poorly, but also admitted he was never going to bring Richarlison or Dominic Solanke off the bench. This sweeping apathy wasn’t created in a vacuum.
With five minutes to go, the stadium, never quite full in the first place, was emptying at fire-drill pace. “Why the f**k are you lot here?” the away fans asked the miserable few who chose to remain. No one replied.
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