In the past few weeks, communication expert Jefferson Fisher has been everywhere—seen in The New York Times, on Good Morning America, on Mel Robbins' podcast and more. Author of The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More (out March 18), Fisher has plenty of wisdom to share when it comes to giving feedback, mastering articulation, improving social skills and working on communication as a whole."I’m a fifth-generation trial attorney, so I saw a lot of depositions and trials even before the age of 10," the Jefferson Fisher Podcast host tells Parade. "I was raised with understanding the balance of assertive versus aggressive communication, and that in turn gave me the confidence to speak."Now, he's using his background and passion to empower others."Anyone can speak with confidence," he explains. "To do it, they must first learn to find their assertive voice. And that’s where I come in."With 5.8 million followers on Instagram alone, Fisher's videos with communication tips have definitely resonated with viewers."In 2022, I decided to make a video sharing one of my tips—by the fourth video, it had gone viral," he tells Parade. "I credit the content’s popularity to the underlying demand for practical communication tips that are easy to apply and quick to the point."Understandably, many of us want to know what we're doing wrong in conversations, and how to communicate better. And because Fisher shares that "some of the biggest everyday mistakes I see are during small talk," let's hear about the most common small talk mistake people make—and what he suggests doing instead.Related: 6 Best 'Coffee Chat' Questions—and What *Not* To Ask, According to a Career Coach
Courtesy Jefferson Fisher
Other Common Communication Mistakes People Make
"Swapping 'Why?' for 'What?' is such a simple tweak, but it’s incredibly powerful," Fisher explains. “'Why' questions can feel accusatory, even if that’s not your intention. They put people on the defensive. For example, 'Why did you do that?' can come across as, 'What’s wrong with you?' On the other hand, 'What' questions invite explanation without judgment. Asking, 'What was going through your mind?' or 'What led to that decision?' shifts the tone from blame to curiosity. It opens the door for understanding instead of escalating the conflict."
Going Into a Conversation With Judgment
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