Festivus takes place on December 23 each year. In 2024, the funny holiday lands on Monday, December 23.75 Festivus Quotes
1. “Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances.” — Frank Costanza2. “Why waste money on decorations when you can just have a pole?” — Frank Costanza3. “At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.” — Frank Costanza4. “Happy Festivus.” — Jerry Seinfeld
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5. “I got the pole out of the crawl space!” — Frank Costanza6. “It’s made from aluminum. Very high strength-to-weight ratio.” — Frank Costanza7. “What is that? Is that the Festivus pole? George, Festivus is your heritage.” — Frank Costanza8. “Why don’t you sit down? You’ve been annoying me for 30 years!” — Estelle Costanza9. “No, instead there’s a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.” — Frank Costanza10. “No gifts required on Festivus. Just give me a break from the holiday shopping madness.” — George CostanzaRelated: 120 'Happy Holidays' Wishes To Use Throughout Christmas and New Year's11. “Let’s skip the airing of grievances this year and go straight to the feats of strength. I’ve been working out.” — Frank Costanza12. “Have you seen the pole, Kooger?” — Frank Costanza13. “All right, George, it’s time for the feats of strength!” — Frank Costanza
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14. “I’ve prepared a list of grievances, and trust me, it’s long.” — Frank Costanza15. "A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund. What is that?" — Jerry Seinfeld 16. “The Human Fund. Money for people.” — George Costanza17. “The pole is what separates Festivus from the commercial madness of the holidays.” — Frank Costanza18. “Oh no! I’m not doing the feats of strength. I’m out of here!” — George Costanza19. “I’m just here for the feats of strength. Watch me lift this remote control!” — Frank Costanza20. “It’s got no decorations. Just a simple aluminum pole.” — Frank Costanza
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22. “It’s a Festivus miracle!” — Cosmo Kramer
24. “Festivus is for those who want to escape the stress of traditional holiday cheer and embrace the absurdity of life.” — Cosmo Kramer
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27. “George, the pole is part of your heritage. It’s who you are!” — Frank Costanza
29. “There’s nothing more refreshing than a simple, undecorated pole to symbolize Festivus.” — Frank Costanza
30. “He’s gonna see the pole!” — Frank Costanza
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32. “I managed to avoid the holiday rush at the grocery store. It’s a Festivus miracle!” — Unknown
34. “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way. A Festivus for the rest of us.” — Frank Costanza
36. “It’s not over until you hear my grievances, George!” — Frank Costanza
38. “My dog learned how to roll over without hitting the antique armoire. It’s a Festivus miracle!” — Unknown
40. “That must have been some kind of doll.” — Cosmo Kramer
42. “Let’s get this over with. I’ve been training all year for this!” — Frank Costanza
44. “We celebrate with a pole, not a tree. That’s what Festivus is all about.” — Frank Costanza
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46. “You didn’t get me anything for Festivus! I’m outraged!” — Frank Costanza
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48. “No tree, no lights, no pressure—just a pole and some grievances.” — Frank Costanza
50. “It’s a Festivus miracle!” — Cosmo Kramer
52. “I caught a cab, and it didn’t stink of BO. It’s a Festivus miracle!” — Unknown
54. “I got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!” — Frank Costanza
56. “George, you’re up for the feats of strength! Get ready!” — Frank Costanza
58. “This pole is a symbol of rejecting all the glitz of traditional holidays!” — Frank Costanza
59. “Festivus is a holiday that breaks the mold—an innovation in itself!” — George Costanza
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61. “Why go along with the same old holiday traditions when you can have Festivus?” — Cosmo Kramer
63. “You don’t need glasses. You’re just weak. You’re weak.” — Frank Costanza
65. “Let’s do it then! Festivus is back!” — Frank Costanza
66. “Festivus is the perfect mix of honoring tradition and embracing something new.” — George Costanza
68. “Festivus for the rest of us.” — Frank Costanza
69. “A simple pole—no decoration. It’s pure, no commercialization!” — Frank Costanza
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71. “We had some good times. Remember the tape? Read that poem." — Frank Costanza
73. “And now, as Festivus rolls on, we come to the feats of strength.” — Frank Costanza
75. “I don’t care about the Feats of Strength, I just want to eat!” — George Costanza
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