DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister “Ruth” and I were both supposed to help a friend settle into her new home, but Ruth backed out after getting a last-minute invitation to brunch.
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That day, Ruth got into a minor fender-bender in my car. She was not hurt, thankfully, and there was no damage to my car, but two months later, my insurance skyrocketed!
I recognize that these things can happen to anyone, but Ruth has a history of blowing off commitments for fun, and frankly, I’m sick of it. My insurance has tripled to an enormous amount.
I spoke to her about how careless she is, and she was immediately dismissive.
Is it fair that I demand she regularly pay the difference between my previous rate and my post-accident rate? What is a realistic remedy here?
— Irresponsible Sister
DEAR IRRESPONSIBLE SISTER: It is fair to ask your sister to pay the difference in your insurance costs, though she may not do it. Demand it anyway. Have a frank conversation with her about her recklessness and its impact on others.
In the future, do not allow Ruth to borrow your car, and remember her flakiness when making plans.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents hired someone to redo their windows, referred to us by a close family friend.
On the first day of actual demolition work, the head contractor was not on site. A group of five or six men arrived, and I found myself running point when the contractor was nowhere to be found.
Originally, I was assured that this would be a one-day job and that, upon completion of all windows, we’d pay the remaining balance. Toward the end of the day, the head contractor appeared, demanding we pay at least a portion of our balance so that he could pay his disjointed “crew.”
At this point, some windows were only halfway replaced, and others were not even started!
We bickered a bit, but out of respect for our friends who referred him and the men who did actual labor — and were still waiting on my front lawn — we decided to pay a portion of the remaining balance.
Since then, the contractor has sent us messages saying we refuse to pay what we owe, but when I send photos of the incomplete job or ask when he’ll be back, he does not respond.
We feel robbed. Is the Better Business Bureau a good resource in a situation like this?
— Bad Referral
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Also, talk to your friends and make them aware of how this job was handled. Referrals mean a lot to people and should be offered only when customers truly found a service valuable.
Even so, you have to trust your gut. These people made you suspicious from the start. You may have to cut your losses and find someone else to finish the job.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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