I’ve lost weight and I look great – why can’t I shout about it? ...Middle East

I don’t think I’ve ever woken up in the world unsure of who I was or why I was here. I’ve been graced with a strong sense of self and a clear identity. It’s given me confidence.

I don’t see myself as arrogant, even when I’m gabbing on about my “brilliance”. I don’t understand why society makes women feel we have to dumb down our wins and that you’re a tw*t for believing in yourself.

The ADHD brain doesn’t allow for much filtering. It’s an impulse disorder meaning you have little control over what you think and how it comes out. I say what I think when I think it, so if I’m feeling myself, you’re gonna know. People think I’m cocksure and inappropriate because of this, but everything I say feels logical at the time.

I feel like a computer of all knowledge on food. I said this once and it started a backlash as to how up myself I was, but I can’t see it like that. It’s the truth to me.

Friends have joked with me that it’s not what people do, but I know that if I’m at the stage where I’m singing my own praises, I deserve it. I can’t understand why it would be inappropriate. It’s all very practical to me. Why can’t we all back ourselves?

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My self-belief has been instrumental in forging a career I’m incredibly proud of. My sense of self has allowed me to see my own value. One great thing I got out of working with men in kitchens is that men hold themselves to a different standard and it’s rubbed off on me.

I have my mother to thank for my unwavering self-belief. She was an incredibly inspiring woman. She worked three jobs to keep our family afloat and would regularly tell all three of her daughters they could do whatever they set their minds to, so long as they cared and made it authentic. It became a mantra and I know these words are one of the biggest privileges I’ve ever received.

Then there is trauma. I’ve had plenty: my parents splitting up, being abandoned by my father, my father then dying when I was a young teen, sexual assault, very hard drugs – all before I was 18. Almost every bit of conventional psychotherapy would suggest that trauma tends to hold people back, but I have a different view. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and all that.

People who believe in themselves are too often called narcissists. I question myself about this regularly. I’m in a creative industry where I’m told I’m great all the time, and look at this – one of my jobs, this one in fact, is to talk about myself and how I see the world.

This isn’t just about me. It’s true for most women. We’re conditioned to minimise our achievements, to deflect compliments, to make ourselves smaller so others feel comfortable. The number of brilliant women I’ve watched downplay their expertise or apologise before sharing an opinion is staggering. And yet when men declare their abilities, it’s seen as leadership.

You never know – it may change the energy you live in and create a new sassier path. For all of us.

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