I no longer speak to my 40-year-old son. He married an American woman, an actress, in 2018, and ever since then, relations have been difficult, up to the point that we don’t see them, or my two grandchildren, any more. They moved to California, which made things worse, as I always saw a role for him in the family business. We try to be private, and not to air our problems in public, but he – and she – insist on telling other people how badly they’ve been treated by us, and I find this very difficult to reconcile. He says he wants to patch things up, but I don’t trust him any more. I can’t see any way to repair the relationship with him. Do you have any advice?
Charles,London SW1
But of course, it’s not any old Charlie we are talking about here. There are constitutional matters to consider. There are public relations issues. There is the question of security. And there is history, more than a thousand years of it. The breach between King Charles and Prince Harry exists as a morality tale in several dimensions.
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At the age of 76, and with serious health problems, the risk for Charles is, in the vernacular of the capital markets, all on the downside. He could die estranged from his second son, and with a corner of his soul forever sorrowful. So, on a very basic human level, he must overcome all the hurt and indignation that attends him, and assume Harry’s plea for reconciliation last week was made with the best of intentions.
A public offer of reconciliation, with no equivocation or conditions attached, is not appeasement, but is consistent with Christian teachings and would set a powerful example to those around the world who say they are prosecuting for peace, but do very little towards achieving it.
Above all, however, is the global impact that such a gesture from King Charles would have. Forget about the lead it would give other fathers and sons in similar situations (and I’m not just talking about you, David and Brooklyn).
At a time when international relations is dominated by the language of retribution and punishment and payback from Washington, how refreshing would it be to hear the King of England speak of reconciliation and rapprochement and forgiveness, and to act as a holistic counterpoint to an atomised culture. So go on, Charles. Be the bigger man. I know I’d do it if it were my own son.
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