Sometimes you want to go a little above and beyond for a neighbor and do a surprise good deed. The idea of helping someone out with no expectation of reward can make you feel great, and seems like a surefire way to build a solid neighbor relationship and bank some good karma. Except being helpful can sometimes go wrong, especially if you’re making some assumptions about your neighbor and their property. Here are the ways your good neighbor intentions can take a bad turn.
Except there are actually many reasons why someone might not mow their lawn. They might be planning to let the grass grow a little longer this year. They might have treated it with weed-killer, which sometimes works best if you don’t mow for a few days or weeks after the application. The “weeds” you pull up might actually be perennials planted on purpose. Or they might have a different species of grass and your mowing job cuts it too low, killing everything in sight. The point is, mowing your neighbor’s lawn without their express permission could actually ruin it for them.
Rake their leaves
Being a good neighbor means watching out for each other, but you can take that good instinct too far. If someone comes to your neighbor’s house when they’re not there—whether they claim to be contractors, utility workers, city inspectors, or some other legit-sounding role—you might want to help out with a little information. Telling strangers when your neighbors will be back, or offering details about their house in an effort to help could be a huge mistake if the people you’re talking to aren’t who they claim to be, or if the inspector or other city official isn’t happy about what they hear. The last thing you want on your conscience is a robbery or notice from the city that costs your neighbor money just because you wanted to be helpful—always check with them before you tell anyone anything about their home or situation.
Become their assistant
When doing nice things for your neighbors, it’s important to set boundaries so those favors don’t turn into commitments. This can be a challenge, but it helps to make the one-off nature of the favor clear (in a friendly way) right from the beginning. And if the neighbor starts to make a regular practice of asking you for the same service, it might be time to come up with non-confrontational reasons why you can’t do it.
But this can backfire if your neighbor has already asked someone to water the plants, and you just don’t notice—leading to overwatering and some very dead plants. Or, if you don’t know much about plants, you can easily water plants that don’t need it or otherwise mess up their care, doing damage when you intended to do good. And if your neighbor isn’t expecting someone wandering around their property, your watering adventure could trigger home security systems and doorbell cameras, alarming your neighbors and causing unnecessary anxiety. Always best to check if your water can is needed before you take it upon yourself.
Take in packages
But this simple kindness can go wrong if your neighbor doesn’t want you to keep that package safe and didn’t ask you to do so. If they have already asked someone to grab the package for them, you’ll just sow confusion. If they miss your note or you forget to send one, they might assume the package is lost or stolen and file a complaint—or, worse, see you on their doorbell camera taking the package and jump to unfortunate conclusions. And without knowing what’s in the package, you might unknowingly do some harm by breaking or spoiling the contents. If you’re worried about a delivery sitting out in plain view, your best practice is to check with your neighbor first, and do nothing unless they ask you to.
Clean their house
But your neighbor may not see it that way. They might see it as an invasion, and be uncomfortable that you peered into their most private spaces and felt the need to clean them up. And you might not be familiar enough with their home and the materials used in its design, leading to inadvertent damage if you use the wrong cleaning solutions or tools. Cleaning your neighbor’s house might seem like a big-swing category of good deed, but odds are good it won’t be appreciated the way you think.
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