Let’s be honest, desperate attempts to halt or deny the ageing process have up to this point been mainly the preserve of women. In fact, the perfect example of the power of internalised misogyny is that when I saw Affleck debuting his Just For Men chic, my immediate assumption was that he’d probably done it for a role. Something I have thought about a female celebrity changing her appearance precisely never.
People will be poring over the photographs of these men with their new barnets, analysing, speculating, just like they do when dissecting pictures of their female counterparts. It used to be absolutely fine for blokes to become silver foxes – they were celebrated for it, deemed sexier than ever, compared with fine wine. Now, evidently, they’re not allowed to any more.
Leonardo DiCaprio in Las Vegas earlier this month (Photo: Steve Marcus/Reuters)
This ubiquitous discourse about ageing has a trickle down effect, making women everywhere ashamed about ageing – that is, going through a natural biological process, the alternative to which is death. Even when we know someone in the public eye has had work we can’t afford and don’t want anyway, because rationally there is no way they can be the same age as us without a single line on their face, it doesn’t help. The next time we look in the mirror all that flies out of our brains as we accidentally automatically compare and despair.
Leonardo DiCaprio is an unlikely ally. Up until now he’s embodied the theory that you’re as young as the woman you feel, infamously dating women half his age. But hey, all welcome to the cause. What’s also interesting is how he and Affleck emerged into it – as in, unselfconsciously, without even a hint of sheepishness.
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It’s endearingly naive that all apparently believe they can suddenly appear with unnaturally black hair, which they completely did not have the last time we saw them, and no one is going to notice or have thoughts. They could just be styling it out – after all, they are both actors. Or is that that these men have been spoilt by previously being permitted the privilege of ageing?
“Naturally you go, like, ‘OK, maybe I’ll just wear the same outfit every single day, so the pictures won’t be distinguishable,’” he said. “Or maybe, ‘I’ll just look like a slob,’ and I’m like, nope – then you become the sad Affleck meme spilling the coffee. Which I have to say I think is kind of funny.”
Now that men have some insight into how tough women have it, it’s tempting to suggest we’re all kinder to each other generally, but that’s probably unrealistic. Maybe easier to propose that in future, he or she who without altered hair colour casts the first stone.
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