She’s released an advert for her Skims Butt Enhancing line, which includes shorts, leggings and bodysuits that give you a “bigger, rounder, perkier” bum. They’re basically Wonderbras for your bottom. Goodbye, boys?
Kim, it should be noted, is flying especially high at the moment. Skims was recently valued at $4bn, and she’s no longer married to Kanye West, which increasingly seems like her canniest move to date.
In the ad, a stunning, flawless, young – let’s be honest – model with an unarguably perfect body sits on an exercise mat in a gym, despairing about how awful she looks.
After a quick joke about how no one can tell the Kardashian sisters apart, now proven good sport Kim announces that she is the Fairy Butt Mother. And she’s there to make one issue on this impossibly impeccable creature’s lengthy list of concerns easier. “With Skims’ new shapewear you can get a butt, boobs and amazing curves immediately,” she trills.
The girl was clearly beautiful before, but now she is beautiful in the correct way, and that’s much more important, obviously. She’s fashionably beautiful rather than – yawn – classically.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by Kim Kardashian (@kimkardashian)
It’s hard not to sigh when reading it. But hold on. Maybe the question here should be whether The Ultimate Butt is the problem, or actually the solution? No matter the motivation behind (no pun intended) it, what is the end (and again) result?
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Read MoreIt’s so popular that people are flying abroad, where cosmetic surgery is usually cheaper than in the UK, in a bid to keep up with the Kardashians. Demi Agoglia, a 26-year-old mum of three from Salford, died last year after having a Brazilian butt lift in Turkey, and the Foreign Office report that she’s one of 28 British people since 2019 who didn’t survive after operations there.
It’s also strangely feel-good to take the brain holiday of buying into the fairytale aspect of Kim’s advert. We live, in case you haven’t noticed, in bleak, terrifying, almost dystopian times, our world more out of control every day, and us largely powerless pawns in the game. Here is an aspect of our existences that we can control. One thing in life that’s easy. OK, it’s bottoms rather than peace in the Middle East, but hey, it’s a start.
And could it be seen as cheering that so many people can afford knickers that are nearly 80 quid in a cost of living crisis? OK no, pushed it too far there haven’t I? What an appropriate shame, to end on a bum note.
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