“For far too long, we have relied on taxing our Great People using the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). Through soft and pathetically weak Trade agreements, the American Economy has delivered growth and prosperity to the World, while taxing ourselves. It is time for that to change,” Trump wrote in a post on Truth Social Tuesday.
For a guy interested in shrinking the size of government, Trump sure keeps adding to it. The U.S. already has a way of setting and collecting tariffs, but to Trump’s credit, it never had a stupid name before. After the secretary of the treasury establishes regulations, U.S. Customs and Border Protection—housed within the Department of Homeland Security—is responsible for administering the tariffs at U.S. ports of entry. The money is then deposited into the General Fund of the United States.
While Trump is at it, he could invent several other badly named governmental bodies to carry out his administration’s insipid agenda. Here are some humble suggestions:
Consumer Product Danger Commission: Determines whether products are getting too woke.Environmental Defenselessness Agency: Ensures that the U.S. government can do whatever it wants to protected lands for the sake of endless production and accumulation of capital.Anti-Social Security Agency: Destabilize Social Security by cutting payroll taxes. Hell, maybe take the whole thing private?In any case, this whole thing feels eerily similar to his pitch to rename the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America.” A purely aesthetic change that Trump imagines will build his legacy as a powerful leader—and not a global laughingstock.
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