Women no longer know how to age appropriately ...Middle East

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Sue stays alive for longer; Sparkle, on the other hand, is atrophying with decay. But while the mysterious creators of her anti-ageing potion advise that she can stop at any time, Moore’s character simply can’t give it up. She will literally kill herself so Sue can stay taut-skinned and successful. 

It’s no surprise that her film, now tipped for Oscar glory, hit a nerve with audiences: nobody really knows how to talk about age anymore, particularly when it comes to women.

The Daily Mail, never one to miss a trend, published a breathless piece detailing the combined price of the surgical interventions that may or may not be behind these A-list facial rejuvenations.

Bridgerton star Nicola Coughlan became something of a lightning rod for age-related hysteria – the 37-year-old is routinely praised online for looking younger and has said she finds it “really funny” more than anything else. 

I have some skin in this game – as someone who just turned 36, I still remember being burned by the noughties “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” era. In my first job at a fashion magazine, I got used to colleagues saying that a celebrity was too “big” to be on the cover.

I’ve had friends I’ve known since we were teenagers, some of whom have opted for tweakments like Botox. But I’ll let you in on a secret: none of this work made me see them differently or think they looked better than before.

Call it an essence or a soul, if you, like me, are occasionally inclined towards woo. It’s why I still know who they are even if they’re having a bad day or have suffered a dramatic haircut. They’re still them. Plus, when I look at photos of when we met, we look like we’ve just been yanked out of the womb – who wants to go back to looking that naïve? 

I’ve worked hard to look this nervous about the future – I’d like the record to show that these eyebags were from looking up my pension pot at 1am.

All I know is that I’d rather be worried about something – anything – other than my face. After all, I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life.

Zing Tsjeng is a journalist, non-fiction author, and podcaster

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