Two words that have the power to transform your relationships? "Let them."Robbins' latest book, The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can't Stop Talking About, which published on December 24, dives into the importance of accepting that you cannot (and should not try to) manage, supervise or oversee everything and everyone around you at all times."The Let Them theory is a mindset tool that immediately shows you what is in your control and what's not in your control," Robbins explains. "It's important because any psychologist will tell you—and I've certainly experienced this in my life, anytime I try to control things that are beyond your control, like what another person's doing or how they feel or what they're going to think about you, it just creates more stress in your life and it creates friction in your relationships."
Focusing on What You Can Control
"In life, there are just three things that I control—only three," Robbins says, explaining:
"I can control what I choose to think about what's happening. I can control what I do or I don't do in response to what's happening. I can control how I process my emotions—whether or not I just let them rise and fall."What individuals choose to do with this control makes all the difference."If the line is long at the grocery store, why would you allow that to stress you out?" Robbins asks. "Why not just say, 'Okay, I see that this is not running effectively. It's sort of annoying, but I know my time and energy is valuable, so I'm just going to let them manage the store this way because I can choose whether I stand on this line. I can choose whether I meditate while I'm standing here or I call a friend.'"A few things happen when you make that mindset tweak."When you do that, you are setting up a boundary between you and your energy and the rest of the world, so it doesn't bother you," she says. "And it reminds you that your time and energy has value."
Nathan Congleton/NBC via Getty Images
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Mel Robbins, an award-winning podcast host, NYT best-selling author and expert in mindset, behavior change and life improvement Read More Details
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