Bullying can cause lifelong scars."It’s crucial to not only discourage this kind of behavior but also to teach them to stand up against bullying when they see someone else being abused and immediately alert their parent/teacher or other authority figure," Dr. Vaughan explains.
Use it, don't abuse it and return it."If you borrow or utilize a common household item or something that belongs to someone else in the home, put it back in the same place and in the same condition you found it," Dr. Vaughan says. "This ensures that your child considers what belongs to others."It also builds trust and ensures everyone can find what they need and want, reducing frustration.
4. If you make a mess, clean up after yourself
This rule teaches the importance of respect for other people's property."It needs to be explained that to borrow something without asking is perceived as stealing regarding the intent," Dr. Vaughan explains. "If this is not taught and reinforced in the home, children will think it is OK to take from people outside of the house without asking and earn them a poor reputation. People will not trust them."Related: 12 Phrases Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents to Stop Saying to a Youngest Child6. Maintain proper hygiene
Dr. Vaughan says this rule can include basic manners like:Waiting your turn to speakSaying "please" and "thank you"Remembering that "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all" is still relevant even in a world of keyboard warriors
8. Respond when someone is talking to you
This one can be hard not to break for age-appropriate reasons."Children can sometimes be so caught up in their imaginary worlds they may not hear you when you’re talking to them," Dr. Vaughan says. "Teenagers sometimes ignore out of anger and annoyance."Still, working on it with your children and teens is worthwhile. "Not responding when someone is talking to you can make you seem rude and disrespectful," Dr. Vaughan says. "They should be taught that if they do not want to interact with someone, they should respectfully communicate that and request to be excused from the situation to regulate their emotions or calm down when needed."Related: 13 Things Psychologists Are Begging Parents and Grandparents To Stop Saying to a Middle Child
10. Knock before entering a room
Even seemingly common courtesies must be taught."Children should understand the importance of physical boundaries and personal space," Dr. Vaughan says. "This is something they will eventually need to maintain for themselves. It is essential that they learn to set this boundary for themselves and in respect of others."
How To Implement and Enforce Rules
As obvious as it sounds, kids will only know the rules if you communicate with them."Make sure to keep rules simple and age-appropriate. You can’t expect them to follow what they don’t understand," Dr. Vaughan says. "Explain why a rule should be included and what makes it important to reinforce clarity and understanding."Dr. Vaughan adds that it's healthy to include children in setting house rules. Once everyone knows the rules, she suggests posting them on the refrigerator door so they can be seen and reflected on daily.2. Offer positive reinforcement discerningly
Rules will get broken."When rules are not followed, it is important that the consequence matches the 'crime' and should make logical sense to the child," Dr. Vaughan says. Dr. Vaughan stresses it's important to dole out consequences calmly."Set clear expectations and explain the significance of the rule that was broken," she says. "You want to address the act or behavior that broke the rule, not attack the child's character. Utilize 'I' statements to identify vulnerable emotions generated by the child violating the rule and what you would like to see them do differently in the future."4. Follow through on consequences
"Finally, you want to make sure you give them an opportunity to correct the behavior or rectify the situation to show that all hope is not lost and they can learn from their mistakes and poor choices," Dr. Vaughan says. While it may not get them their gaming console back before two weeks are up, it might mend any harmed relationships, which has longer-term benefits (like a person to game with soon). 6. Model
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Related: People Who Were Told They Were 'Too Sensitive' as Children Usually Develop These 14 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
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Dr. Denitrea Vaughan, Psy.D., LPC-S, a psychologist who works with children, adolescents and families with Thriveworks Read More Details
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