There's Nothing Wrong With Being a "Sensitive Gangster" ...Middle East

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I cry a lot. Just ask any of my loved ones. I always have. Tears are how I express my emotions - whether I'm sad, happy, frustrated, or angry. Crying immediately provides a cathartic release for me. And guess what? My therapist says it's OK. I'm a proud crier and, as of last night, a "sensitive gangster," too.

To those who may be unfamiliar with the term, it's comes courtesy of "Love Island USA" contestant Amaya Espinal, affectionately known as Amaya Papaya. Throughout the ongoing seventh season, Amaya has received the brunt of criticism, primarily from the men in the group, for being overly emotional. Like me, Amaya often defaults to tears when navigating tough conversations or during awkward moments. She wears her heart on her sleeve - which, last time I checked, was not a crime.

Being a sensitive gangster isn't something to be ashamed of: We're the type of people who love hard and give everything.

The men of "Love Island", however, took it upon themselves to attack Amaya for doing just that in the latest July 1 episode. "You cry more than needed. You try to move to fast for everyone," wrote past connection Austin Shepard on an anonymous card during the "Stand on Business" villa game. During the game, each Islander had to read handwritten notes (read: shady grievances) from their housemates in front of the entire cast. Amaya immediately teared up reading Austin's note, but brushed off the complaint with the perfect response: "God forbid I'm a sensitive gangster."

"I would just like to say many people could view this as a weakness but to me personally after everything I've been though in my life, I view it as a strength," Amaya added. "So if you guys view it like that, then guess what? I'm just not your cup of tea to be drinking, so don't fucking drink it." Honestly, there was nothing more to say after that.

But instead of minding their business and other connections, Austin and fellow contestant Ace Greene clobbered Amaya with their claims about her being overly affectionate, calling them "babe" (let it go, Ace), and generally just being "too much."

By then, Amaya was standing at the podium in a heap of tears, face drenched, taking one jab after the next. Not once did any of the other women stand up for her. (That's an essay for another day.) Amaya tried to defend herself again, reiterating, "You know, sometimes I'm not the book that someone should be reading and that's OK." At that point Zak Srakaew, her current connection, jumped in and agreed with both Austin and Ace, noting that because of Amaya's expressive nature he's had to pull away from their relationship.

Zak said, "When we speak, I obviously let you be passionate with me. I let you kiss me. I let you touch me . . . Sometimes I feel like I have to take a step back." I'm sorry, "let?" Now that's where I got heated and so did Amaya. At that point, she was fed up (understandably so), shutting down any further comments and exiting the podium in tears.

In that moment, I realized just how much of a sensitive gangster I am too. As I sat there watching Amaya from my couch, I started tearing up. With every jab they took at her, I instantly recalled a time when I was labeled as being "too sensitive" or told "please don't cry," after being blatantly hurt by someone.

Well, to everyone who targeted Amaya last night and to anyone who has ever criticized a sensitive gangster, you're dead wrong. Being a sensitive gangster isn't something to be ashamed of: We're the type of people who love hard and give everything. We ride for our loved ones to the end and you probably won't find anyone as loyal. Yes, we have a lot of feelings and we may use a few dozen tissues along the way, but who cares when what you're getting in return is unconditional love and support?

On the off chance you find that sensitive gangster is not your type, feel free to communicate that directly (preferably without the better-than-you attitude). And if a few tears during that conversation makes you uncomfortable, that's your problem.

Related: Belle-A on "Love Island" Prep, Stealing From Set, and Bikini Mishaps Alexis Jones (she/her) is the senior health and fitness editor at PS. In her seven years of editorial experience, Alexis has developed passions and areas of expertise around mental health, women's health and fitness, racial and ethnic disparities in healthcare, and chronic conditions. Prior to joining PS, she was the senior editor at Health magazine. Her other bylines can be found at Women's Health, Prevention, Marie Claire, and more.

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