Hot take: The best workout I've had in the last year wasn't led by some boutique studio fitness trainer - it was with my physical therapist. As a group workout instructor myself and a millennial woman who came of age in the overly-aerobic, "you look so skinny!" era of the early 2000s, it feels wildly empowering to admit that. But the realization did not come easily.
I've spent 25+ years conflating high-intensity exercise with body dysmorphia - from joining and quitting running groups, to succumbing to p90x DVDs (btw, do we need to check in on Tony Horton?), to lusting after "pilates arms," all while trying to establish myself as a leader in the group fitness industry. Even as an inclusivity-focused instructor, I still struggle with my own body image issues, and can get just as confused as the next person about what the "right" workout routine is for me.
Last year though, I finally nailed it down: a mix of cycling, running, and barre classes. This combo has kept my energy up and my heart in shape, while improving my muscular strength and endurance. And to be honest, I'm a sucker for a good sweat session. Something about it just feels so good.
But sadly, this year I joined the 84 percent of the general population who will suffer from chronic low back pain. It's from a loosely diagnosed lumbar strain, due to a combination of over-exercise, sitting at a desk, and picking up my son, who, since the day he was born, has been in the 99th percentile for height. I had been feeling it for about a year and mostly just dulling it with Tylenol and Advil as I continued to teach indoor cycling and attend barre classes. Eventually the pain from the strain got so bad that when my family and I were driving home from New Jersey one day in mid-February, breaking for sudden traffic on the George Washington bridge nearly sent me into paralysis.
After the GW bridge incident, I visited an orthopedic doctor. The treatment he suggested was "back strengthening," and the prescription was physical therapy, four times a week. The look on my face when he suggested that frequency was complete shock (can anyone do anything four times a week?). We settled on twice weekly sessions.
"I loved that I had stripped my exercise routine back down to basics, and I loved that for that hour I was still constantly moving - but this time in the way my body actually needed."With a heart full of fear, I started attending physical therapy sessions during my free windows of time that had previously been filled by barre classes. Each session started with a recap of how my back was feeling, some manual tension release, and then a set of gentle strengthening exercises curated based on the current state of my pain. I ended each of those initial sessions with 10 minutes on a heating pad as well, the industrial-strength kind.
I was fearful because I was giving up my barre time to work on a healing plan that I didn't fully trust. It's not that I don't think physical therapists know what they are doing; it's that I had no guarantee that my back would be healed by physical therapy anytime soon, and the routine that I had "scientifically" proven was my key to feeling good about myself was going out the window.
Then, at a session about three months into my treatment, I looked down at the table I was doing bird dogs on. What was that dark spot? Was that, dare I say it… sweat?! It was. I realized it had been dripping down from my face after my third set of 20 reps of the exercise. With awkward enthusiasm, I ran up to my physical therapist and said "I know we're focused on my recovery but I have to ask, is this considered working out?" He looked at me as if I was born yesterday, which I might as well have been. "Of course it is," he replied.
All of a sudden, the last several sessions replayed in my mind, like a rom-com movie montage, when the hot girl realizes she's been in love with the nerdy sidekick the whole time. Back strengthening through physical therapy was the prescribed treatment for my lumbar strain, yes - but it was also my new workout routine. And I loved it. I loved that it was a 10-minute walk to the facility and a 10-minute walk back. I loved that my workout started with what is basically a free massage. I loved that I was doing dead bugs, bird dogs, and light kettlebell deadlifts with stretches in between each. I loved that I had stripped my exercise routine back down to basics, and I loved that for that hour I was still constantly moving - but this time in the way my body actually needed.
That said, the fears and stigma around having to pause your typical workouts to do physical therapy aren't uncommon. Ben Miles, a director at Spear Physical Therapy in New York City, says he sees at least seven patients a week like me; patients who aren't in physical therapy because they just had an operation or are rehabilitating from a specific injury - patients who have chronic low back pain and just want to do something about it. And many of them, like me, are scared. "You're not going to lose drastic strength in that time period," Miles says. "You're working on stability and everything that supports that. You could come out stronger."
We've turned the idea of "exercise" into something so loaded these days, only to be validated by a specific kind of intensity. Just uttering the word exercise now can ignite an all-or-nothing mindset, filled with protein obsessions, endless wearable fitness trackers, or even a costly membership to an elite wellness club.
If we strip it down though, exercise, at its core, is about health. And "healing" is just the gerund form of that word, after all. When I started focusing on exercise as a form of healing, I started getting the best workouts of my life. And if you're like me and your day is made infinitely better by breaking a sweat or burning a calorie - physical therapy is still movement. Recovery is still movement.
So the next time you're focusing on whether or not your workout is "enough," let's remember what exercise actually is. It's not defined by a massive financial commitment, it's not the secret to eternal slenderness, and it's not an exclusive club that you have to sacrifice your first born to get into. Exercise is a health tool. I'm glad I finally learned how to use it.
Joanna Brenner supports the curation and production of newsletters at PS, ensuring readers engage with PS stories across health, fitness, and overall lifestyle in ways that make them feel seen, but not judged. She has overseen and managed editorial strategies at Peacock, Vanity Fair, ProPublica, and the Pew Research Center, and works with digital publishers to strengthen voice and credibility across all platforms (especially newsletters, the love letter of the 21st century).
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