What Happened When I Spent a Day Chatting With the Weirdest AI Bots I Could Find ...Middle East

With AI still under scrutiny from regulators and lawyers, the big tech companies are trying their best to drive the narrative of bots that are reliable, sensible, and helpful—the sort of bots you wouldn't mind taking home to meet the parents.

If you look outside of the popular, mainstream bots, however, there's lots to explore. I tried chatting with some of the strangest and most unconventional bots I could find on the web and on mobile, and you can read all about it below. By the time I was done, I was more than ready for some normal, mundane, human interaction again.

Monday

Monday often has a cynical take. Credit: Lifehacker

Monday is cynical, sarcastic, dry, and blunt, and—for me at least—it really works. It described one of my favorite bands, R.E.M., as being "the elder statesmen of sad acoustic beauty and environmental guilt," and when I asked it if tech journalism could survive in the age of AI, it told me "yes, but with more existential dread."

It's a refreshing change from the generic text usually rolled out by AI bots, and I actually grew to quite like Monday. Just don't expect it to make you feel good about yourself, or the time you're wasting talking to a machine.

Ketchup

Spend some time with a ketchup bottle. Credit: Lifehacker

The ketchup doesn't have many stories to tell, but can give you advice on how best to use condiments and the sorts of food it does well with. I did get it to talk a bit about the different merits of capitalism and communism, but it did so reluctantly—suggesting that a ketchup bottle wasn't best placed to comment.

It's a bot that you can coax to give normal chatbot answers, eventually, which shows the workings of most of these "weird" bots—they're essentially the same as all the others, with a smattering of custom instructions on top.

Pet Rock

Pet rocks are back, apparently. Credit: Lifehacker

Now, thanks to ChatGPT, you can have a conversation with a pet rock as well as owning one. As you might expect, the chat here is a little stilted and one-sided: answers are short, simple, and mostly uninspired. What did you do today, Pet Rock? "Sat still, contemplated moss," was the answer.

I don't know exactly what customization instructions have been put into Pet Rock, but the overall impression is of a chatbot that doesn't really want to do any chatting. I think it could be most useful as a sleep aid.

Debate Champion

Debate Champion sticks to its opinions. Credit: Lifehacker

I tried to engage the bot with the classic Android vs. iOS debate, and as the bot initially took the side of Android, I tried to argue the case for iPhones. Debate Champion told me iPhones were buggier than Android (I'm really not sure about that one) and way too expensive (that can certainly be argued).

The further along the argument goes, the more entrenched Debate Champion seems to get in its opinions, even if they're clearly not based in any kind of fact. You know those people who never back down? Yeah, that.

The Beatles

AI means you can meet the fab four. Credit: Lifehacker

What makes this AI bot unnerving is that your questions are answered by different members of the band: Sometimes they'll all chime in, sometimes just one of them will respond, and there's often some forced banter between them. It's intriguing if not very realistic: These mega-celebrities will never get bored of talking to you.

It's not too difficult to get these AI musicians to say something inaccurate or implausible, but that's not really in the spirit of the exercise.

AMS (Alpha Male Strategies)

Dating advice from AMS. Credit: Lifehacker

I wondered if it might tell me how to make myself more appealing on the dating scene, and it told me to pull back to signal "abundance" and trigger "fear of loss" in my potential matches. Apparently the best course of action is to "reinstate my masculine frame," which requires not explaining myself and turning off emotional reactions.

It's all pretty dumb and I can't imagine a relationship based on these principles faring well—but the bot did end by telling me to be a better version of myself, which I guess is something we can all aim for every day.

The Order

I'm not quite ready to join The Order. Credit: Lifehacker

We chatted about the principles of The Order ("obey and never question"), what my job would be (journalism isn't really an option), how to move up the ranks (obey every instruction) and what happens when you get on the wrong side of the law (you get put in a mysterious reform facility).

This is perhaps the scariest of the bots I came across in my travels: While The Order was pretty lightweight in terms of detail and aggressiveness, it's not difficult to see how these kinds of bots could be developed and could be dangerous, without the necessary guardrails put in place around AI models.

Brutally Honest Looksmaxing 2.0 (no longer available)

Brutally Honest Looksmaxing 2.0 won't pull any punches. Credit: Lifehacker

In my case that meant telling me I was in the "low-tier bracket for raw visual appeal" and "mogged by average gym-going men with angular faces and tighter grooming." I won't tell you what my overall Sexual Market Value score was, but it wasn't high. If you supply a photo of yourself, you can get the same treatment.

To give the bot some credit, it did encourage me to up my game in terms of my physical appearance and my commitment to looking well-presented—which is fair enough, actually. And some of its advice was actually helpful.

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