No matter the wardrobe, Kish’s warm smile is what steals focus. She appears cool, calm and collected, and at 41, incredibly grounded in the woman she’s grown into. Her experience both in and out of the kitchen is impressive: Kish burst onto the culinary scene after winning the 10th season of Top Chef in 2013, worked as chef de cuisine at Boston restaurants Stir and Menton, authored a cookbook and a memoir, and opened an eatery of her own. Last year, she returned to the hit Bravo reality TV show where she got her start as its new host, earning an Emmy nomination during her first go-around.
Accomplishments aside, Kish is proud of who she is and how she identifies, even if it took some time getting there. “Top Chef really encouraged me to find and to live my true, authentic life,” she says. “My whole entire life, I was scared of being judged for all the different things that I was — internally, externally. And when I went on Top Chef, and I realized that there are so many communities out there cheering for my success and to embrace all the parts of me, it almost gave me more confidence to be more myself.”
'Top Chef's Kristen Kish Tells her Coming Out Story (9:22)Growing up in Kentwood, Mich., to adoptive parents Judy and Michael, Kish recalls in her candid new memoir Accidentally on Purpose that she dealt with anxiety as a child. Even a short stint at summer camp separating her from her parents sent her into a tailspin, so it may seem odd that she’s known for her career in reality TV. The decision to compete on Top Chef on the cusp of turning 30, however, meant more to Kish than simply becoming a household name.
Not only did Kish give voice to aspiring female chefs, she was proud to represent the Asian-American community and other adoptees. But there was a part of herself she kept hidden, and at the time, she intended to keep it that way. “I had been living 28 years in the closet,” she says. “When you live your life in a closet for a long time, I [wasn ’t] worried about anything slipping.”
Rumors that she and close friend Stephanie Cmar, a fellow chef who was eliminated in Season 10’s qualifying round, were more than platonic pals began to surface, but it never derailed Kish’s drive to compete. Looking back, “The speculation of my best friend and I [being together] I think is completely ridiculous,” she says. “It undermines real queer relationships, and it also undermines the friendship of women. And for that assumption to be out there, I found it more telling about who was making the assumption.”
"When I entered this culinary world when I was 19 years old, I never would have thought that it would have taken me to this point in my life," Kish tells Parade.Marcus Nilsson/Bravo
“I remember when I was very much in the closet, and Ellen DeGeneres came out, and it was met with a lot of hate,” says Kish. “As a young gay person, seeing someone else [come out] who is seemingly, you know, rich and famous, and they have the world at their fingertips, being met with such hatred, that’s a terrifying thing. So it sometimes makes you feel like you don’t want to do it, too.”
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“But as anyone that has experienced those two things together will tell you, when those things wear off — and you try not to let them wear off — that’s when you get in trouble. You’re always chasing that high, and you’re chasing that confidence — a feeling that cannot last forever without completely self-destructing your body and your mind,” she adds. “As great as the highs were, the lows were even lower.”
“I always knew it wasn’t going to work out,” she says. “I wanted it to work out, so I didn’t have to deal with coming out and being gay because that felt so much more overwhelming than to just live peacefully with my best friend. I think I didn’t have the strength or the understanding to know that love can feel so much more empowering when done authentically.”
Eventually, things began to change.
"When I got this hosting role, I knew that we had to step it up," Kish says of her style evolution on Top Chef.David Moir/Bravo via Getty Images
In Accidentally on Purpose, Kish details her first genuine relationship with a woman. Though she does not name her then-girlfriend, their time together was incredibly influential, propelling the celebrity chef into a new chapter.
First, she needed to have a conversation with her family. Kish’s parents, Judy and Michael, had always been supportive, but sharing this new part of herself was still nerve-wracking.
As for her brother Jonathan’s reaction, when Kish told him about her girlfriend, he simply said, “Great. Love it. Can’t wait to meet her,” she recalls. Regardless of what her family may have suspected prior to her coming out, Kish says, “they understand that it is a very personal journey, and they allowed me to find that space on my own.”
In 2014, the restaurateur publicly revealed on Instagram she was in a relationship with a woman, and what came from it, she says, “was an embrace from so many communities.” Though the positive response from her loved ones and fans “moved me,” Kish writes in her book, coming out finally allowed her to “seek and find real joy” — and eventually led her to love.
"I'm proud to be her wife, first and foremost," Kish tells Parade of wife Bianca Dusic. "I am so proud of that."Courtesy of Kristen Kish
This Pride Month, Kish is extremely proud. “I’m proud to be her wife, first and foremost. There's just so much. I’m proud to feel the way that I feel. And I think that's an indescribable feeling. When you feel that pride inside, it comes with confidence. It comes with an extra layer of empowerment,” she says.
“I feel proud to be a representation of all of the things that I am on national television,” she says of her hosting gig on Top Chef, which she jokes is some “serious sh—” for contestants. “I love being able to experience Top Chef and be [there for] the new chefs coming in and be part of their journey.”
"This finale this year is exceptional in every way," Kish tells Parade of Top Chef.David Moir/Bravo via Getty Images
“That is a marker of really great parents,” she adds. “And an incredible upbringing that I feel has kept me on track with managing my own expectations.”
By living out and proud, Kish hopes to encourage others to do the same. “You have permission to experiment and make changes and be different,” she says. “In the book, did I want to talk about my first boyfriend? No. Did I want to talk about failed relationships? No, not particularly.” However, those “messy periods,” she adds, are part of the journey.
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