"Social media is like the drive-thru window of connection," Dr. Albers tells Parade. "It is fast, it is easy, it is always available, and it seems to feed us, but it doesn't truly nourish us. It leaves us hungry for more. As our traditional areas of connection, like churches, family dinners, meeting places [and] neighborhoods start to shrink, people are looking for other ways to connect. People want to reach out and connect with others around them and social media helps to fill that void."
Can Online Community Be Just as Beneficial as Having Connections in Real Life?
The short answer? "It depends on the intent of the way you use social media," Dr. Albers explains.
It can definitely be helpful when you aren't able to see friends and family regularly, for whatever reason—distance, busyness, etc.
"For many people, it is a lifeline, particularly those who have difficulty connecting in person," Dr. Albers says. "For those who struggle with social anxiety, are geographically isolated [or] have a disability, this provides an avenue to connect." Social media, in particular, also gives users a chance to expand their knowledge and learn from others simply by scrolling."Many of my clients tell me stories about the information they get online that is life-changing or brings them a sense of joy," she continues. "It might be a mental health tip, a comment [or] something that shifts their way of thinking, and it's a game-changer."Another powerful aspect of online communities is "the specificity" they provide, Dr. Albers says, explaining, "We can find our tribe at two in the morning—whether you are a new parent, a grieving spouse, looking for information about French cinema, whatever it may be. We find a community that is much different than who we would stumble upon in our neighborhood. We can find like-minded people that help us to feel known [and] seen, and share a common interest."That being said, it's not all rainbows and sunshine.Related: 'I'm a Psychologist—These Are the 5 Surprising Things I Swear By To Combat Loneliness'
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"It can make you feel known when you truly have no connection at all," Dr. Albers warns. "You can spend hours chatting with someone online and still not know anything about the other person. It's very easy to put on a mask and meet another person who has a mask and those two interact with each other and do not truly get to know each other which creates this false sense of closeness." Related: Women Who Are Lonely in Life Often Display These 10 Behaviors Without Realizing It, Psychologists Say
2. It Can Create an Echo Chamber
"Online, you miss that in-person communication—the change of tone, the warm smile, the nod, the empathetic touch," Dr. Albers says. "These are all critical for the release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is the hormone that makes us feel connected with other people in our lives. This cannot be replicated on screen."Related: Psychologists Are Begging People To Pay Attention to These 11 Early Signs of Loneliness
4. It May Lead to a Greater Risk for Anxiety and Depression
"When you're on social media for extended periods of time, you see the highlight reel of someone's life—it is the best 5% of their daily life, vacations, parties, filtered faces," Dr. Albers says. "This sets a bar for comparison. And that bar is not only unrealistic, it can become dangerous when you start to feel like you are missing out or there's something wrong with your life when there isn't."She explains that this is an example of "social comparison theory.""We get to know ourselves through our connections with other people," she continues. "And when we look online for that comparison, it can skew our perceptions of ourselves. We may know that this is a curated image, but our brain doesn't always make the distinction. It starts to ask those questions of 'Why am I not as happy? Why am I not having as much fun as someone else?' And this can chip away at your self-esteem over time."Related: 6 Behaviors That Signal a Person's Lonely, According to Psychologists
6. It Can Cause Unhealthy Addictions
Can Online Community Actually Be Worse Than Having No Community at All?
Unfortunately, this can sometimes be the case.
"Online communities do not give us the essential non-verbals that we need to understand and to connect with other individuals," Dr. Albers reiterates. "The change of tone, the nod, the warm glances. We cannot replicate that online."But not only that—we also may have a harder time with reconciliation."In person, when we have conflict or friction, we work it out," she explains. "We can reach across the table and say, 'What's wrong? Let's talk.' Online, you can simply ghost. Disappear. You don't have to work out anything, which leaves us feeling with this profound sense of confusion and loneliness in each way at our self-esteem. The in-person opportunity gives us a chance to understand how we interact with others, to understand our dynamics and to figure out ways to connect—even when there is friction."
Related: The Dangers of Loneliness That More People Should Be Talking About, According to a Cleveland Clinic Psychologist
Source
Susan Albers, PsyD, is a Psychologist at the Women's Health Center at the Wooster branch of Cleveland Clinic. She graduated from the College of Wooster and obtained her doctorate at the University of Denver. Read More Details
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