Rule No. 1: Remember that, at the end of the day, Mom and Dad will get the final decision (unless you have custody of the grandchild)."One of the most impactful things a grandparent can do is support their own children as parents," says Dr. Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., the co-founder of Phoenix Health. "When grandparents respect the parents' boundaries and choices, it strengthens the entire family system."Another psychologist shares similar sentiments."Even if you disagree, modeling respect for the parents teaches the children respect and consistency," reports Dr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks.
2. Show up
Dr. Lira de la Rosa says grandparents can significantly impact their grandchildren by listening openly and with patience."When a grandparent listens without immediately offering advice or judgment, the child feels heard and respected," he explains. "This builds emotional closeness and encourages the child to keep communicating."
4. Use kind, encouraging words
You don't need a teaching degree to help a child develop into a lifelong learner."Grandparents can help encourage a child’s love of learning and introduce them to new things that they otherwise may not have been exposed to," Dr. Guarnotta says.She adds that reading together, doing crafts and connecting through other activities help promote curiosity and a desire to learn.Related: 11 Scientifically-Proven Strategies for Raising Happy Kids and Grandkids, According to a Child Psychologist
6. Keep calm
Children have numerous career and educational options these days. However, developing kind kids is more important than developing kids who can code or use AI."Modeling kindness and compassion in everyday life teaches children how to treat others," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Whether it’s showing respect to a store clerk, helping a neighbor or talking about others with empathy, these moments shape a grandchild’s understanding of how to move through the world."Related: The Genius Trick for Easier Mornings With Kids: 'It Changes Everything'
8. Share family stories and pass down traditions
Dr. Saidi says that grandparents continue to share family traditions with grandkids and create new ones. Think ice cream on Friday afternoons, after-school FaceTimes, or arts and crafts on Saturdays."These rituals can provide comfort, structure and a sense of identity," she explains.
10. Love them just the way they are
What *Not* To Do if You Want To Make a Significant Impact On Grandkids
All three psychologists agree: Grandparents should not undermine the parents. "Grandparents should try to avoid disagreements in front of the children, to avoid creating any loyalty conflicts or confusion," Dr. Saidi stresses. "Respecting boundaries is best for the child’s sense of security."Now, this tip goes against the cliche that grandparents are the ones who bring sugar to no-sugar households and let their grandkids stay up late.
Up Next:
Related: 16 Things Every Kid Needs To Learn From Their Parents and Grandparents, Child Psychologists Say
Sources:
Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisorDr. Emily Guarnotta, Psy.D., the co-founder of Phoenix HealthDr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks Read More Details
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