DEAR DEIDRE: My husband loves my new and improved sexual appetite but what he doesn’t realise is the trigger was a very raunchy one night stand.
I hadn’t planned on being unfaithful but when a colleague from another office made a beeline for me at an award ceremony, I was swept up in the moment.
Now I’ve developed a huge appetite for mixing food and sex – it’s the ultimate turn-on.
My fling was so handsome, successful and made it very clear that he wanted me.
By the end of the champagne reception he’d already whispered in my ear that he had another bottle of fizz in his bedroom and that he intended to pour it all over my naked stomach by the end of the night.
I was stunned that he was so bold, but also hugely turned on.
And just as he’d predicted we went back to his suite at the end of the night where he stripped me and then drank the champagne off my body.
I don’t think I’ve ever had such an erotic experience.
I’ve only been married two years and this was the first time I cheated.
I do feel bad and don’t want to be the sort of person who keeps letting their partner down.
I regularly think back to my night of passion – it was electric and has ended up improving our sex life.
I’m 31 and my husband is 33.
Since my experience with champagne, I’ve tried all sorts with my husband – chocolate, honey, wine and even milk.
At first he was a bit dubious but after persuading him to spread it over me and then lick it off, he’s really got into the swing of things.
He’s even started to ask me to spread food and drink over him.
The only drawback is there is a lot more washing.
I was a bit worried he might have been suspicious because he asked a few times where this food interest had come from.
Taken off guard, I fobbed him off at first and then when he asked again, I said I had a good imagination.
He’s stopped asking awkward questions since, but I’m left feeling very guilty and wonder if the only way forward is to admit to cheating.
At least then I would know everything is out in the open.
DEIDRE SAYS: This is a controversial opinion but I don’t believe coming clean will solve anything.
The temptation to absolve oneself of any guilt is understandable, but the practicalities are that it often simply shifts any upset and hurt onto the innocent partner.
Ask yourself why you want to admit to your one night stand, is it so that you can improve your relationship, or is it so that you can feel better about yourself?
Of course if you were regularly cheating, or had no regret at all, I’d be suggesting something different.
However, you say you don’t want to stray again and want to work on your marriage, so there is little to be gained by coming clean.
Keep focusing on your marriage. It’s good that you have both reignited your sex life – a key part of maintaining a happy and well connected relationship.
My support pack 50 Ways To Add Fun To Your Sex Life gives plenty more ideas on how to keep things fresh in the bedroom.
The UK's Ten Most Popular Kinks
According to a recent survey by Killing Kittens, a company who organise sex parties, the ten most popular UK kinks are:
BDSM 16%
Feet 5%
Exhibitionism 4%
Restraints 4%
Group Sex 4%
Latex 4%
Shibari Rope 3.5%
Voyeur 3.5%
Leather 3%
Threesome 2.5%
Dear Deidre’s Fetish Files
Deidre’s mailbag is bursting with kinky sex problems.
One reader struggled to look past her husband’s hosiery fetish, while another discovered his interest in cuckolding after his girlfriend’s infidelity.
And one woman discovered her husband’s affair with a woman on a fetish website.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women’s issues and general features.
Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week.
Sally took over as The Sun’s Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago.
The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes:
Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books.
Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies.
Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues.
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