“Dumbgerous,” a word coined by a 13-year-old friend, is a handy term for something both stupid and harmful. Not only should it be added to the English lexicon, Dumbgerous Awards should be bestowed on an annual basis. It’s only May, but there are strong contenders for 2025.
Last week, a divided Colorado Supreme Court decided to let a lawsuit by local government officials proceed against Suncor and ExxonMobil, accusing them of causing global warming and harming the city and county of Boulder. If the suit ultimately succeeds, it will raise the price of gasoline. That’s partly the purpose, an attorney for the plaintiffs admitted. It also sets a bad precedent.
In the words of the dissenting justices: “Boulder is not its own republic … it has absolutely no right to file claims that will both effectively regulate interstate air pollution and have more than an incidental effect on foreign affairs.” Courts have wisely dismissed similar suits in several states.
Besides, if Boulder can sue gas companies over CO2 emissions why should they stop there? Businesses that operate machinery or technology consume energy and release greenhouse gases. Drivers are guilty of the same, homeowners and renters, too. In fact, anyone breathing should pay up. Animals and the dead also emit CO2, so don’t let them off the hook either.
That’s not the only frivolous lawsuit being paid for by taxpayers. Democratic attorneys general, including our own, launched a lawsuit against President Trump’s temporary pause on new permits for wind turbines on federal land. Normally suits are dry reading but this one has melodramatic flair. For full effect read it aloud and hyperventilate a little. Trump is “jeopardize[ing] the continued development of a power source critical to the States’ economic vitality, energy mix, public health, and climate goals,” it frets. Sounds cataclysmic doesn’t it? The suit fails to mention the majority of windmills are on private, state, and local government land, not federal.
It’s hard to compete against lawfare for a Dumbgerous Award but state legislators did their best this session. House Bill 1277 could have been written by the satirists at The Onion. It would have forced gas stations to put climate change warnings on gas pumps. Sponsors said warning labels would inspire drivers to change their wicked ways. We can test that hypothesis. How many House members who voted for the bill then ran out and bought a $60,000 electric vehicle or suddenly started taking the bus? House Bill 1277 would do little more than raise the price of transportation when gas stations passed on the cost to comply. Fortunately the Senate killed the bill.
Not all bad bills died before adjournment, however. While the most onerous sections of HB 1312 were excised, the bill still, in the words of Senator Paul Lundeen, “creates a system where schools and state agencies become the arbiter of deeply personal family decisions. By mandating inclusive name policies, enforcing gender neutral dress codes, enlisting the (Colorado Civil Rights Division) to police speech, this bill risks transforming schools and courts into areas where the state overrides parental authority.” If this bill is signed into law, it’s only a matter of time before the courts schooled Democrats on the 1st Amendment. Constitution 101: the government cannot coerce speech.
Before we can award any of these nominees a Dumbgerous Award, however, we must consider an outstanding entry from a state university. The taxpayer subsidized University of Colorado Boulder and an abortion clinic planned to host a “Sex Ed Summer Camp” for incoming 5th through 8th grade students this July. Why teach 10 year olds to canoe and make s’mores when you can, according to the promotional materials, introduce them to “gender & sexuality, media related to sex, sexy feelings, and pleasure”?
After a little national outrage, the Boulder Valley Health Center canceled the camp. We probably haven’t seen the last of it, however. While every study says delaying sexual activity until emotional and physical maturity is the healthy way to go, targeting the young makes good business sense when grooming future clientele.
These are certainly not the only competitors for Dumbgerous Awards. There will be more. But with the sex camp called off, the legislature adjoined, and election season still a year out, the river of homegrown award-worthy ideas may slow to a trickle. But fear not, Congress and the Administration have already begun to take up the slack.
Krista Kafer is a Sunday columnist for The Denver Post.
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