This Just In – What would you give for a few minutes of peace and quiet after a long day?
A longtime friend of mine went to have herself a burger in a local restaurant after a long day of work and caretaking for her husband-a disabled veteran. She’s earned an enjoyable quiet time, having someone wait on her, top off her glass, ask if everything is cooked the way she wanted it.
Instead of that hour or so of bliss, she found herself seated adjacent to a couple of foul-mouthed knuckleheads, spouting their insistence that they aren’t stupid and that their president was in the process of finally making the country great via economic policies that they were obviously unable to articulate.
My friend, a loyal democrat, felt quite intruded upon and quickly made her exit. Should she leave or should they? It’s not easy to take the politics out of it, because these guys are talking about things that are hurting real people. Just to pick the first and most glaring example, the administration’s treatment of veterans’ healthcare doesn’t just hit home, but comes right in the front door and steals breakfast.
It’s fortunate for these guys that my friend (let’s call her “Debbie”) opted to leave without making a scene. She’s well educated and politically informed (two things they’d hate) and because she has seen what real healthcare is and what it takes to deliver it, she could have laid them out pretty good without raising a hand to them.
I pondered a bit …what I would like to think I’d have the guts to do in that situation.
First option: Laugh. Laugh out loud. Make it clear that you’re reacting to what you had no choice but to overhear from your boorish neighbor at the bar and continue to find it hilarious until they opt to relocate. Being a little drunk in that scenario would really help. Slur your words if you can.
Second Option: Picking up your glass and plate, tell the bartender that you’re going to relocate to the other end of the bar to escape the severe fart cloud coming from nearby.
Third Option (Requires time commitment and abandonment of your original dinner plan): Ask the frat boys to explain their positions to you, asking questions that would derail anyone applying logic. “Why didn’t China just roll over, then? Do you think American teenagers want to manufacture iPhones for minimum wage? Have you ever worked in agriculture? Do you know who Adam Smith is? How do tariffs work?”
Fourth Option: Ask to take their picture. Don’t say why.
Fifth Option: Order a tall glass of something cheap and “accidentally” spill it on one or both of them. Tell them you wanted them to hold your beer, but decided it was a better idea that they should wear it. For this one, it’s best to be on the way OUT of the restaurant.
Somewhat seriously, I’d make sure to tell the restaurant’s manager that these obnoxious people are the reason I’m leaving the restaurant early and less likely to come back. You might get a free dessert out of it and they might get a nice “settle down” speech before they leave, costing you nothing. Whichever option you choose, one of these or something even more clever, I think we’re at a place now where saying nothing at all and being pushed out of public situations where common courtesy is appropriate is not a good solution. Nobody wins by starting a bar fight … you can call the restaurant the next day and report the issue. The restaurant (or other public-facing business) wants to know. Find a way to tell them, then order some fries for the table.
Jean Bolduc is a freelance writer and the host of the Weekend Watercooler on 97.9 The Hill. She is the author of “African Americans of Durham & Orange Counties: An Oral History” (History Press, 2016) and has served on Orange County’s Human Relations Commission, The Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina, the Orange County Housing Authority Board of Commissioners, and the Orange County Schools’ Equity Task Force. She was a featured columnist and reporter for the Chapel Hill Herald and the News & Observer.
Readers can reach Jean via email – jean@penandinc.com and via Twitter @JeanBolduc
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