Tawwab says that a hallmark of a situationship is not having the “what are we” conversation. “If you don’t have any clarity about what the relationship is, what each person’s role is, and where it’s going, that’s a situationship,” she explains. As you can likely guess a relationship therapist would say, communication is key.Related: What Is an 'Open Relationship'?
2. You don’t use titles
“A key ingredient to a situationship is ambivalence—strong [and mixed] feelings one way or another in terms of both wanting closeness and also safe distance,” says psychologist Dr. Aimee Martinez, PsyD. Feeling ambivalence is a feeling of not knowing if you want to be in a relationship or not.
4. The other person’s actions don’t match their words
If there are still dating apps on your phone—or you suspect the other person is still actively swiping—you’re in situationship territory. If you don’t know whether or not the other person is dating other people, both experts say that speaks volumes too.Related: 75 Best Hinge Prompts, According to Relationship Therapists
6. There aren’t any rules
Related: 35 Signs That You've Met 'The One'
8. One or both of you don’t act like you’re in a relationship
While someone in a committed relationship may check in with their significant other before making weekend plans with friends or planning a spontaneous getaway, people in a situationship don’t. To Tawwab’s earlier point, a situationship isn’t always a bad thing. If what you want most right now is freedom, a situationship may be more in line with what you are looking for.
Related: 200 Questions for Getting to Know Your Partner Better
10. You aren’t making future plans
“If you’re in a situationship and you don’t want a relationship, you’ll feel as cool as a cucumber. But if you do want a relationship, it can make you feel [anxious],” Dr. Martinez says. The nagging question of where you stand with the other person can range from feeling uneasy to overwhelming. The only way to put an end to it, according to Dr. Martinez, is communication. “How the other person responds will give you a lot of useful information about where they are at emotionally,” she says. “This can help clarify expectations and allow for choices to be made in order to move forward in a thoughtful way.”Related: Rejection Stinks—Here’s How To Deal With It, According to Experts
12. It’s not evolving
If this list of signs made you realize that you’re in a situationship but you really want to be in a relationship, you aren’t necessarily doomed to stay stagnant forever. “A situationship can turn into a relationship if it’s what both people want, but it must be communicated,” Tawwab says. That requires speaking up about what you actually want. If the other person feels differently, at least you’ll know. And now that you’re aware of the situationship signs, it can inform how you choose to date in the future.
Related: 11 Benefits of Being Single, According to a Holistic Therapist
Sources
Nedra Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, relationship therapist, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace.Dr. Aimee Martinez, PsyD, licensed therapist Read More Details
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