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"The reality is that our relationship status doesn’t say anything about our worth," she continues. "It also doesn’t say anything about our happiness levels. I’ve known plenty of people who are miserable in a relationship, just like I’ve known plenty of people who are full of joy while single."This leads to another misconception—that being single should only be a stage (and a short one at that)."As a society, we put romantic relationships on a pedestal, as if our life isn’t complete until we find one," Sherer says. "We often treat being single as a temporary phase to be rushed through in an effort to find a partner, rather than viewing it as a powerful opportunity to build a deep and lasting relationship with yourself."Related: Wondering Why Some Women Seem so Effortlessly Confident? We Uncovered 23 of Their Best-Kept Secrets
11 Benefits of Being Single, According to a Holistic Therapist
2. Your patterns become more obvious
"When you step back from the dating game long enough to get a little perspective, you can finally see the cycles you keep repeating and can explore where they come from," she says.
4. You don’t have to consider anyone else
"It’s incredibly fun to have a chapter where you can travel when you want, live where you want, decorate your home how you want, watch what you want, and exist how you want without taking a partner’s opinion into consideration," she shares.
6. Self-care and self-reliance
"When there [are] no distractions and you’re the only one who’s there to meet your needs, you become really clear on what you actually need and how to make it happen," Sherer says. "While it’s great (and necessary) to rely on the people we love for support, we also need to learn to self-soothe and self-regulate. Being single is a great time to invest in therapy to build these skills for yourself, and for your future relationships."
8. Healthier future relationships
"The more you invest in getting to know yourself and your values while single, the more likely you are to choose the right partner for you in the future," she says. "Plus, you’ll have higher standards, healthier boundaries and stronger communication skills to bring with you into that relationship to make it last."
10. You’re forced to find deeper meaning
"So many people who just go through the motions and end up in a relationship by default (rather than from a place of aligned and empowered choice), often find themselves waking up unfulfilled in mid-life wondering how they got there," she says. "We’re taught that the magic formula of finding a person and settling down will bring us joy. When you’re single, you’re forced to find that joy and fulfillment elsewhere first, whether that’s in nature, spirituality or connection to a higher purpose. You stop outsourcing those feelings to someone else (when it was never supposed to be their job anyway)."
11. You’re more motivated to get out and explore the world
This can be tricky at times."First acknowledge that loneliness is a normal emotion, just like sadness or anger or joy, and it’s okay to feel lonely sometimes," Sherer says. "Notice how it feels when it shows up, and see if you can sit with it rather than trying to fix it or numb it right away. If you’re feeling lonely most of the time, that often signals more than just an effect of being single. Chronic loneliness is a symptom of disconnection from our authentic self. Where are you avoiding taking responsibility for your life? Where are you making choices that aren’t in alignment with your core values? Are you showing up in places that bring you joy and investing in building community along the way?"It's important to dig deep and get curious about that deeper loneliness, because even being in a relationship would likely not "fix" that feeling."One thing I know for certain is that you can still feel lonely in a relationship or even in a group of people if you’re not connected to yourself," she continues. "So take this as an opportunity to get to know the real you, and invest in friendships and relationships that allow you to be your authentic self."Related: People Who Felt Lonely as Children Usually Develop These 13 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
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Megan Sherer is a licensed holistic therapist and relationship mentor whose mission is to help women prioritize self-care to build confidence, healthy relationships, and a strong sense of purpose. She hosts the popular "Well, Then" podcast, founded the nonprofit organization Be More, and created the self-guided therapy app The Self Care Space. To learn more visit megansherer.com. Read More Details
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