There are some days, weeks and months that we simply feel "down in the dumps." Whether we're playing the comparison game on social media, feeling stressed from the weight of our daily responsibilities, dealing with loneliness, or finding ourselves planning for worst-case scenarios at every turn, once we become accustomed to a pessimistic mindset, it can be hard to break away from the spiral of those negative thoughts. However, it's not impossible. And fortunately, we've got tips on how to stop being pessimistic, according to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist and author of Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being, Dr. Sue Varma, is very familiar with helping clients who want to get rid of the negativity in their lives and "return to their own 'baseline' level of functioning, before, say, an acute stressor came into their lives."However, major stressors aren't the only cause of negative thinking. Instead, it can be more ingrained in us than we might realize. Related: 16 Things People With a Really Positive Outlook on Life Often Say, According to a Psychologist
Key Habits To Become More Optimistic
"Ideally, you want to have a fairly accurate perception of yourself, your world and your future," says Dr. VarmaLeaning toward these accurate perceptions can become easier once an individual prioritizes their mental health. "Good mental health is about investing in key healthy habits," she explains, adding that this can include "seeking treatment if and when you need it, along with sleep, exercise and a good diet." "But one key habit is so important to me—[focusing] on maximizing our strengths, while also minimizing the negativity," she adds. "We must regularly and proactively work to keep negative thoughts in check—not to be in denial, not to minimize the risk of things, but also making sure that pessimism doesn’t take over our lives."What she's not saying is to pretend that everything is OK when it's not, however."No one is saying to engage in blind optimism or toxic positivity (hoping for things to work out without doing your due diligence or acknowledging the gravity of the situation—which is frankly, dismissive) but simply to recognize when we are engaging in those cognitive distortions," she continues. It's about minimizing the "all or nothing thinking," such as this example provided by Dr. Varma: “I either get that promotion or I’m a total failure/loser.” Related: Stay Motivated When the Going Gets Tough Thanks to These 100 Quotes About Not Giving Up
It's important to know and acknowledge what you're experiencing."What is bothering you—can you point to either an external event or incident or even a thought that came to you?" she asks. "What is the antecedent or trigger that has got you down?"
2. Claim It
You'll want to make sure to give yourself time and space to process your feelings. "Talk to someone, journal about it, take a few quiet deep breaths—this is the acknowledging—[sit] with it, [go] for a walk, [find] a healthy distraction, a few minutes of mindful meditation," Dr. Varma suggests. The most important thing with this step is to release your emotions. "It takes far more energy to suppress emotions than it does to release them," she says, explaining that it can be as simple as writing in a journal for 15 minutes daily. "The benefits are great—from boosted immunity and [fewer] colds and infections to lower heart disease, stroke and cancer," she adds. When thinking about what exactly to journal, Dr. Varma has one main tip: "Get granular," she recommends. "The more specifically you can learn to identify a trigger in real time, the better off your mental health."Related: This Shockingly Simply Habit Could Make a Huge Difference in Your Self-Esteem, According to a Life Coach
4. Reframe It
According to Dr. Varma, some strategies for reframing a negative mindset include:
What you tell a friend: We are kinder and more creative when it comes to helping others come up with different ways of looking at things.Will this matter 5 years from now? If not, can you let it go?Is there another way of looking at this? Are there any positive aspects of the situation at all? Did I benefit from this in any way?"If there was zero upside to the situation, and it was a net negative, or potentially devastating loss that’s keeping you in a negative loop, ask, 'What is the utility of me thinking this way?'” she recommends. "This [is] a question that I ultimately ask myself or my patients when we can’t come up with any silver linings to a situation."
"I recognize that these steps take time and take some getting used to, which is why I urge you to practice them," Dr. Varma says. "Trust me, I do this for a living, and I still have to work at keeping negative thoughts at bay. And if you’d like to learn more about boosting the positive aspects of your life- by turning positive outlooks into positive outcomes, I’d like to invite you on journey, to Practical Optimism."
Related: Women Who Become Lonelier as They Get Older Usually Display These 6 Subtle Behaviors, Psychologists Say
Source
Dr. Sue Varma is a board-certified psychiatrist and author of Practical Optimism: The Art, Science, and Practice of Exceptional Well-Being. You can stay in touch with her on Instagram @doctorsuevarma. Read More Details
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