by Carrie Classon
You’ve probably heard about the Stanford marshmallow test. A group of young children, about four years old, were told they could have a marshmallow right now or wait and get a second marshmallow. The experiment was supposed to test the child’s ability to delay gratification and be a predictor of how well they would do in the future.
The test has its critics. Some say that self-discipline develops later. Some say that the subjects in the test were not typical four-year-olds. Still, by and large, folks seem to agree that the ability to wait for the things we want is a positive trait that helps us achieve our goals.
I’ve been thinking about the marshmallow test off and on for years, ever since I heard about it. I am positive I would have waited for the second marshmallow. In fact, I think there’s a good chance, when the second one arrived, I would have let that one sit as well, thinking I could be the first four-year-old in history to be awarded three marshmallows. Of course, I now realize that, instead of getting a third marshmallow, all the other kids would enjoy their marshmallows, the researchers would turn off the lights and leave, and I’d be left alone in the room until the janitor showed up.
Lately, I’ve been wondering what would happen if, instead of giving the test to four-year-olds, we brought in subjects over 50 and asked them if they would like one marshmallow now or would wait for two. I’m guessing the results would be different.
First of all, the older participants might be thinking about their waistlines. They might be calculating the calories in a marshmallow and thinking they better stop with one. They might be short on time. You get to be older, and you’re not sure how long you have left. Do you want to spend it sitting around in some psychology lab all day, in hopes of a bonus marshmallow?
Or they might just decide that they had enough treats — maybe more than enough. They might eat that marshmallow and say, “Great marshmallow! I gotta go!” because they are honestly happy with one marshmallow.
This is why I still think about that test. How long do I wait for a good thing to happen, and when is it time to realize that now — right now — is what I’ve been waiting for? When do I decide that what was appropriate for a four-year-old may not make sense for me today?
I shared this idea with a friend. I thought she might be delaying her enjoyment unnecessarily. I suggested she had already passed the marshmallow test and, like me, would always be waiting for another marshmallow.
“I know,” she sighed. “And I don’t even like marshmallows!”
Right now, I am busy revising a book and rehearsing a show, and neither one will come to fruition until next year. As usual, I remind myself that marshmallows come to those who delay gratification. But I also realize that I have one advantage those four-year-olds didn’t.
I know that I am happy — right here, right now, before the book is out or a single show has been performed. I know that –even if they run out of marshmallows — I will continue to have a very fine life without any kind of reward. I wouldn’t have known any of that when I was four.
I am enjoying myself today, waiting for my marshmallow. I am enjoying the process, enjoying the sunshine coming in through the windows, even enjoying the sight of everyone else eating marshmallows.
Till next time,
Carrie
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