I've thought about my friends a lot over the last 22 weeks. As much as sleep training methods, nursing schedules, and the necessity of a bottle warmer have occupied my mind since becoming pregnant, so have my friendships.
Most major milestones carry the potential to shake up social lives - college graduations, career changes, marriage. For me, pregnancy has proven to be no different: friends I've known for decades check in seldomly, while newer acquaintances have stepped up, allowing for closer bonds to form. I've wondered how these friendships will be once again shuffled when the baby arrives.
I've cycled through these thoughts because I care about my friendships a great deal. These bonds, many of which were forged long ago in college dorms and poorly named dive bars, have gotten me through some of the most difficult moments of my adult life. And as much as I'm saddened by friends who've dropped off in recent months, if I'm being honest, I worry about keeping up my end of the deal, too.
My life is about to change, yes, and my list of priorities will soon be consumed by one tiny human. But that's not to say things can't be different; I can at least try.
That attitude is what led me to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico smack dab in my second trimester to reunite with my sister and two of my closest friends on something called a "hatchelorette." Allow me to explain.
The Idea For My Hatchelorette
I first learned about hatchelorettes when I edited a story about the trend last summer. A hatchelorette is essentially a celebration of one's pregnancy often done in the form of a group trip; it's less rowdy than a bachelorette yet not as stiff as a baby shower.
At the time of the story, my husband and I hadn't even started trying to conceive. So, while I was delighted by how it turned out, I couldn't relate.
Then, many months later, when I became pregnant and shared the news online, I received word from Four Seasons that they would be interested in hosting my hatchelorette. It was the kind of email you read over and over again, hoping it's not too good to be true.
The trip came together quickly. Of a list of potential destinations, I picked Cabo because it's a quick flight from Los Angeles, where I live, and had been at the top of my list since moving to the West Coast. Better yet, a new property opened there last year, Four Seasons Resort and Residences Cabo San Lucas at Cabo Del Sol. The trip would be for three nights, and the itinerary would include a spa day, sunset cruise, and cooking class.
In the weeks leading up to the hatchelorette, the group chat was a flurry of excitement and logistical planning. (A lot of emoji and exclamation points were happening.) My husband encouraged me to set aside the baby books and registry planning for just a few days. I joked that we may need to name our child "Four Seasons." And with that, I was off.
My Experience on a Hatchelorette
The morning of my flight, I was up by 5 a.m. In fact, if I could have comfortably slept wearing my airport outfit and clutching my passport, I likely would have.
After a roughly 45-minute drive from Los Cabos International Airport, we were greeted at Cabo Del Sol with hibiscus mocktails and sweeping views of the Sea of Cortéz, from the open-air lobby. We were then told we'd be staying in an ocean-view four-bedroom villa complete with a private pool, fully-equipped kitchen, outdoor fire pit, and private bedrooms (and bathrooms) for each guest. "Four Seasons Garcia Goyanes" really does have nice ring to it, no? Better yet, the staff had completely decked out the villa with balloons and banners, including one reading, "Es niña." ("It's a girl," in Spanish.)
It's worth noting that I tried to keep the itinerary a surprise as much as possible. (Yes, I love surprises. Sue me.) This upped the excitement a little.
That first day of the hatchelorette was all about ease. We unpacked, ordered room service for lunch, and took a private yoga class to shake off any travel aches. Dinner that night was at Palmerio, the property's Mediterranean restaurant, where we ate saffron arancini, various pastas, and a phenomenal tiramisu.
We spent hours catching each other up on our lives - work, relationships, family dynamics. We let it all out, and we needed it; it was like a lazy Susan of emotions spinning round the table, if you will. It was especially beautiful to see everyone be so attentive and thoughtfully engaged with whoever was sharing at any particular moment. I can't say I was surprised, given how kind and open I already know these people to be, but it was another reminder.
The next morning, we ate breakfast at the villa (the brioche-croissant French toast is a must) and headed to the Tierra Mar Spa for our respective treatments. I had the Madre Tierra prenatal massage, which was just blissful, while the others had the spa's signature Olas Del Mar massage, which combines relaxing Swedish and Californian techniques. We regrouped in the spa's tranquil outdoor seating area after our treatments, and dissociated as we snacked on fruit and chocolate.
For lunch, we did the Flavors of Mexico Cooking Class from our villa. Chef de cuisine Hans Flores taught us how to make various ceviches (including a pregnancy-safe option involving shrimp), salsas, tortilla, and a grilled fish that stole the show.
After some free time to hang by the pool and listen to the entirety of Lady Gaga's "Mayhem," we got ready for an off-property activity: a private sunset cruise with Pelican Cabo. Everyone squealed as we pulled up to the marina.
The cruise took us around famous sights, like Lover's Beach, and rock formations off the coast, like The Arch. We were handed the aux cord and cued a bunch of Charli XCX, Bad Bunny, and more "Mayhem." And though it was the end of whale-watching season, we were lucky enough to witness several swim by.
Though we had tacos on the boat, I am pregnant and therefore always hungry, so when we arrived back at Cabo Del Sol, we figured we'd try the Japanese-Peruvian fare at rooftop bar Sora.
We ate gyozas and a truly incredible Katsubirria Sando while playing the Friendship Edition of that We're Not Really Strangers conversation card game. We were prompted to reflect on our first impressions, favorite qualities, and idiosyncrasies. Tears were shed, laughs were had, we were in bed by 10pm.
Our last day began with a "floating breakfast": our oatmeal, pancakes, and fruit were carefully arranged in a woven basket that drifted in the pool in luxurious (and quite comical) fashion. It was primed for Instagram and at times impractical but, what the hell, it was fun. It's hard to top breakfast in the pool, but we managed to try by strolling down to the beach, where we laid in cabanas and I had a virgin piña colada like a teenager on vacation with their parents.
For our last night, we were treated to a private dinner in our villa consisting of steak, seafood risotto, grilled fish, and more tiramisu. (The hotel may or may not have been made aware of my pregnancy cravings. No further questions.)
Dinner was followed by an expert-guided stargazing experience, during which we learned about constellations and got to take a closer look at the moon and visible planets. And before we all drifted off, we watched an episode of "Abbott Elementary" on a projector that had been set up in the backyard. I slept soundly - only waking up in absolute panic once while contending with the reality that I would be leaving paradise the following day.
Final Thoughts on My Hatchelorette
I bear witness to a lot of buzzy travel trends in my line of work. Sometimes, they're just buzzwords that go as soon as they came. And while it's admittedly easy to write off hatchelorettes as really just a catchy way to categorize a girls' trip, it's one buzzword I'm thankful for. (Well, that, and "sleep vacations.") Otherwise, I'm not so sure I would have taken that time away to go away with friends during my pregnancy.
See, there's a lot of talk about babymoons once you get pregnant: Where are you going? At what point in your second trimester? And which pregnancy pillow are you packing? It's one travel trend that's become a new normal, and it's a lovely one! If you can, you absolutely should spend that quality time with your partner before baby, but your friends will also likely be a part of your childrearing experience, and quality time is owed there, too.
For me, the hatchelorette solidified what I already knew: my friends are family. My daughter will one day learn as much.
Related: Move Over, Tinder: Travel Is the New Dating App Kelsey Garcia (she/her) is the associate content director of PS Balance, where she oversees lifestyle coverage, from relationships to parenting to financial wellness. Kelsey is passionate about travel, dating trends, and changes in the workplace. Before joining the PS team as an editorial assistant in 2015, she interned at Elle and Harper's Bazaar, among other publications. Read More Details
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