You probably know the answers to these questions, which all boil down to: A day off doesn’t define who you are. But feelings of rest day guilt are pretty common, and I’ve felt them myself. So here's a pep talk to help you understand these contradictory feelings, and some options for what to do when you feel this way. Tell yourself these things:
Tomorrow is a new day, so don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’ve ruined your whole week or your whole training program. Either skip the day or make it up tomorrow, whichever will make the path easier for you going forward.
Rest is useful
Your body will put that rest to good use, anyway. Some people will say a certain number of rest days per week are necessary; I don’t know that that’s actually true as long as your fatigue is well managed. But regardless of whether you need a day off, your body can still use one for extra recovery. You’ll feel fresher the day you come back.
You feel guilty because you care
It's worth taking a minute to unpack those guilty feelings. Often, we feel guilty about taking a day off because we have a plan in our mind (say, we envision ourselves working out every day) and we see that we're falling short. Having a plan, and being able to compare our actions to our plan, are both good things! We may just need to recalibrate a bit.
A big part of the reason one day doesn’t matter is that, in the long run, what does matter is consistency. If you’ve been hitting all your workouts for weeks on end, and this week you have to miss one, you are still the kind of person who usually hits all their workouts.
Problem-solve for next time
Why did you take this rest day, anyway? If you were feeling worn down, maybe you need a more balanced exercise program that doesn’t leave you feeling that way. Or if you dread a certain workout, maybe that’s a sign that you need to change something—either the workout, or your mindset. If you always skip workouts with box jumps, for example, there are ways to get over that fear.
Consider your overall plan
Or maybe you’re feeling guilty because you’ve missed a lot of days. That’s a sign that you may be on a path that’s unsustainable. Are you so stressed out from work that you don’t feel motivated to work out? Maybe you need more than a day’s break from working out to see if that relieves some of the extra pressure. Or maybe you need to lift before work instead of after, to see if that gives you enough of a mood boost to get you through a stressful day. Or maybe you just have to solve the larger problem in your life. (Talk to your boss about your workload? Start looking for a new job?)
Bottom line, if you feel guilty about missing one day because to you it’s a symbol of other things going on in your life, zoom out and see what you can do about fixing those other things.
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