“A lack of early emotional nurturing by not receiving positive reinforcement can hinder one’s ability to understand and convey feelings, resulting in challenges with emotional expression and communication,” states Dr. Ramsey.Related: 7 Signs You Were Raised by Emotionally Immature Parents, According to a Psychologist
“People who often didn’t receive positive reinforcement as children, doubt their abilities and achievements as adults, leading to the belief that they are frauds despite evidence of the contrary,” Dr. Brown says.Related: People Who Felt Lonely as Children Usually Develop These 13 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
4. Perfectionism
“A childhood without positive reinforcement can lead to an unwillingness to commit in adulthood,” Dr. Dixon explains. “Fear of making the wrong choice—stemming from deep-seated self-doubt—often manifests as a hesitance to engage in long-term commitments, both personally and professionally.”6. Chronic Anxiety
“As adults, those who never experienced positive reinforcement as children fear failure and as a result they tend to avoid opportunities and challenges due to fear of not ‘measuring up’ or meeting expectations,” Dr. Brown points out. “This is all correlated to the lack of support and encouragement they received as children.”Dr. Dixon adds, “This fear can lead them to avoid risks, as they may be reluctant to face the potential lack of acknowledgment for their efforts.”8. People-Pleasing Behaviors
“People are more likely to internalize criticism when they are grown up if they didn’t receive positive reinforcement during childhood,” Dr. Slavens tells Parade. “That voice follows a person, making it challenging for them to quiet the perpetual self-doubt and judgment.”Related: People Who Were Rarely Complimented as Children Often Develop These 10 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say10. Lack of Trust
“Without early models of healthy affection and respect, individuals may struggle as adults to establish and maintain personal boundaries,” Dr. Ramsey says. “This often leads to feelings of being overwhelmed or getting taken advantage of in situations.”12. Low Self-Esteem
“A childhood devoid of affection can instill a deep-seated fear of rejection, causing adults to avoid situations where they might be dismissed or undervalued,” Dr. Ramsey says.14. Challenges with Intimacy
Related: People Who Moved at Least Once During Childhood Usually Develop These 10 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
3 Ways To Work on Yourself if You Lacked Positive Reinforcement in Childhood
2. Build Affirming Relationships
“Surrounding yourself with supportive, positive people as an adult can provide the encouragement and reinforcement you lacked as a child,” Dr. Ramsey explains. “Healthy relationships with friends, mentors, or loved ones can model the affirmation and validation you need, helping you feel valued and fostering a sense of belonging.”Dr. Slavens agrees, stating, “Deep connections with people in adulthood who care about you can help heal the scars you’ve accumulated from childhood.”
3. Try Therapy
According to Dr. Brown, those who are looking for ways to heal, can. It just takes a little work. “I traditionally help my clients heal from these challenges by starting my three C’s strategy of 'Challenging' the evidence to maintain these traits, 'Confronting' the emotions, and 'Calmly' releasing those emotions,” he tells Parade. “This is accomplished by utilizing two of the most humbling activities that any human can commit to…self-reflection and self-correction.”He goes on to say that self-reflection has tremendous transformative power, allowing people to dive deep into their emotions, beliefs, and experiences. “Self-reflection can occur through journaling, coaching or with the guidance of a mental health professional,” he suggests.
Related: People Considered 'Overly Competitive' in Childhood Often Develop These 16 Traits as Adults, Psychologists Say
Expert Sources
Dr. Adolph “Doc" Brown, clinical psychologistDr. Kiki Ramsey, positive psychologist and executive coachDr. Patricia Dixon, psychologistCaitlin Slavens, registered psychologist, parenting and postpartum expert of "Mama Psychologists" Read More Details
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